Thursday, April 18, 2024

In which the pond joins slackers Riddster and Lloydie of the Amazon and only allows the bromancer to drone on ...

 


The pond is in a state of pending anxiety, because the reptiles are about to enter peak jingoism season ... but for the moment, all is relatively quiet, with more raging by the reptiles about defence - a routine that the pond is now inured to by dint of repetition ... what with the war on China always expected to arrive by next Xmas ...

Eric occupied the top far right digital spot, urging on the benefits of huge monopolies, something the reptiles know a little about, while petulant Peta had the cheek to turn up and blather about old hatreds and nations of tribes, and never mind her work for the tribal onion muncher.





So it was the usual red card for petulant Peta and if the pond wanted a lesson on old hatreds it would turn to Wilcox to sort them out ...




The pond's only hope that something, Micawber-style, might turn up in the commentary below the fold ...





Sheesh, petulant Peta on a loop, and more banging on about defence, including the lizard Oz editorialist grasping the nettle, which only reminded the pond of the nettles that used to litter Tamworth, and which only a fool would grasp...

Why do the reptiles keep yearning for the apocalypse? Cue the infallible Pope this day...




Enough of the genocide and the apocalypse already, and another thing ...

The pond has complained before and will complain again, where's some of that good old fashioned IPA Riddster science? Why has Lloydie of the Amazon turned into a compleat slacker?

Think back a little and remember the good old days of the Riddster delivering the very best science ...






Um, the pond probably shouldn't have left the Riddster on that last line, because his celebration has aged tremendously well ...




Old news now, but how the pond yearns for the Riddster to return to put the likes of The Graudian and The Conversation and the cardigan wearers back in their box ...

Another thing. Note the way that the trials and the suffering and the persecution of the orange Jesus don't even rate a mention in the headlines?

How's the pond going to segue to a Colbert routine with comical illustrations? How to sing along to waking up in Mar-a-lago?






Why is there no lead-in act that could allow the pond to offer a Luckovich?






Why is there no news from Magaville? 

Why must the pond turn to The Bulwark for news of what happens when foolish dogs finally catch the car?





And then there's the young earth creationist and funding for Ukraine - long live Vlad the sociopath - and MTG and more bombs for Israel and so on and so forth ...

And with the greatest respect, that's not a postcard, this is a postcard ...







Okay, okay, the pond has turned into a slacker and a shirker, down there with Lloydie and the Riddster, so now might be the right turn to apologise for the unseemly number of correspondent notes that are heading off to the pond's spam bin ...

Unfortunately the pond has no control over blogger's settings in this area, and unfortunately once sent to the spam trap, it might take days for them to surface and for the pond note them and publish them, and by that time, the caravan has well and truly moved on. 

This also means there's some repetition because some correspondents try again, and manage to evade the spam trap, and the pond is too lazy to go back and see if there's been a duplication.

What a dull day, and enough with the house-keeping already.

Perhaps the best way is simply to finish off with the bromancer droning on about defence - why accept substitutes of the Langford or Stewart kind, why take the rest when you can have the best? - thereby offering a way for correspondents to also take time off ...




Those who've hung around the pond for some time will recognise the same old manic-depressive routine offered by the bromancer...and not even a mention of the four-card trick, revealing something about the bro's childhood, could lift the pond's spirits ...

It wasn't so long ago that the bro was in a manic phase, triggered by AUKUS, the subs and the chance to nuke the country ...

Here's a sample from the wild-eyed enthusiasm days, as recent as 18th March 2023 (sorry, the pond doesn't link to the reptiles as it tries to avoid linking to paywalls) ...




Sure there were conspiracies - there always are in bro world - but there was the bro, happily bigging up a hypothetical future.

Now he's taken to endlessly droning on about drones, such that the pond almost begins to look forward to Friday and a bout of Thucydides with our Henry ...




Indeed, indeed, we do live in an age of drones, and the bromancer droning on is an even better sedative than sipping on a serve of Celestial Seasonings Happy Crime Herbal Tea (caffeine free) ...

Luckily there was just a gobbet to go, and the pond realises it's been slack and offered short weight, but tomorrow is another day ...





Um, perhaps nuke the subs and go full drone?

Never mind, at least the bromancer provided a segue into the immortal Rowe of the day ...






And Golding had just the gadget for the bro's needs ...






Wednesday, April 17, 2024

mein gott, there's much to entertain entertaining correspondents in this outing, and there's a nattering "ned" too ...

 

What to do with a woman who on all the probabilities has been raped in her boss's office - according to a learned judge running a lion's den? 

Why you keep on symbolically and metaphorically raping her for as long as you can ...




The pond should honour the source of that EXCLUSIVE, spotted last night...




Well played Dudders, you've duddered on for months, and still the pond doesn't dive into the duddering pool, but here's a cartoon for you ...




And here's another EXCLUSIVE that was recently at the top of the digital edition that the pond won't be covering ...




Renewables. Almost as inexhaustible a reptile topic as a raped woman. Well played Rachel, but really where's Lloydie of the Amazon and the Riddster when they're urgently needed, to help explain away all talk of world bleaching events and unseemly temperatures?

And so to today's reptile edition ...





The pond notes that Dudders was still top of the page this morning, while the bromancer occupied the much desired far right position, but the pond decided to red card the fueler of ancient hatreds, because "Ned" had hovered into view, and the pond knew its duty ...

A quick check below the fold confirmed the pond had made the right choice ...




The reptiles thought so much of "Ned" that they had given him two slots, while the pond could only note with disdain that yet again Jimbo had turned up to help the Chairman's paywall ... and does he help out punters not behind the paywall, keen to discover the government of the day's thinking? 

Sorry, the last 'opinion piece' on his very up to date website appeared on 23rd July 2023 ... but the Chairman thanks him for his service ...

Meanwhile, if you believe simple Simon and Claire (the one without the cackle) we should be cool, so the pond could ignore Parker's and Kilcullen's attempts to distract from the ongoing genocide by famine  with their blather about China and Iran...




Enough already with the headlines, and thanks to the splendid burst of correspondent notes yesterday, the pond is convinced it's on a winner with its Mein Gott offerings.

He's prolific to the point of profligate and if you enjoyed him as a defence expert, you must love him as an economics tipster up there with the best of Dame Groan's groaning ...




The reptiles knew that Mein Gott knew wot was wot, so they helped out by flinging in snaps of mighty stock exchanges and even mightier arcades, full of symbolic meaning ...






What a pity they didn't have an immortal Rowe to hand to help with the shopping fever ...







meanwhile, back with mein gott, there are many reasons to enjoy his work ... not least the banning of capitals ...





mein gott, there will be some that might need decoding what "embracing the need for diversity" actually means.

some might have taken it for dangerous radical fully woke d.i.e. stuff, d.e.i. if you must, but relax, it just means embracing the diversity of nuking the country, salivating over sweet innocent coal and and enjoying in major bloodnok style, the pleasure of emitting gases ...

you know, if you look closely, you can see lovable clean dinkum virginal coal still diligently at work everywhere ...







mein gott, you might exclaim,  in all this, not a mention of the singular truth about the state of affairs in the marketplace?





Perhaps you might like the Graudian or the Forbes editor with that ...

Back to Mein Gott ...(not using capitals gets wearing after a time).




Is that not as good a cry of despair, a Ginsbergian howl into the wilderness, as any Dame Groan has produced?

In the spirit of the pond's correspondents, the pond offers this as a cure for impending poverty ...








Of course it has nothing to do with Mein Gott, but the pond will always find an excuse to honour Carl Barks, and besides, Mein Gott was worn out and only had a short gobbet left in him, crying out yet again that we'll all be rooned, though perhaps not to the extent of the famine in Gaza ...



And so, economy wrecked because of a woke lack of diversity, the pond must tackle the Everest known as "Ned", in full Quad ranter mode ...

Warning, there will be cartoons. The pond can't expect anyone to make it to the top of the "Ned" Everest without a few 'toons at way stations ...




But isn't sleepy Don, Don Snoreleone, if you will, a creature of Faux Noise? 

Hasn't the emeritus chairman and his minions done everything they could to sell the snake-oil salesman's snake oil, including but not limited to his sleepy time ways?






Why, he's done so much for the elephants ...







Sorry, back to the grinding climb, one grim foot after another on the trudge towards the top, and warning, there will be dastardly progressives along the way ...





Ah, the end of history man ... and just to emphasise the point, the reptiles offered a huge snap of a man who managed in spectacular fashion to get much wrong, and therefore suitable for quotation by "Ned", always adept at getting much wrong himself ...





The pond would have preferred an infallible Pope reference, which takes in most of the reptiles ...






Back to the trudging, and be assured, there is an end to this bloviating Everest, the end is almost in reach ...





Dear sweet long absent lord, still banging on about the Voice, and still incapable of comprehending all the gifts Faux Noise lavished on the United States, the very same malarkey that Sky after dark would lavish down under if they could just find the numbers ...

At this point, the reptiles helped out "Ned" with a huge snap of Vlad the sociopath, beloved of the Donald and the GOP ...





Luckily the pond had a cartoon to help out with that ...







And so to the last gobbet, which reveals that the pond wasn't joking about "Ned" having turned Quad ranter ... there it was, as bold as brass at the end of the gobbet, though you had to wade through some pompous, portentous claptrap to get there...



Confront the source of the problem? 

The day that "Ned" does a takedown of the Emeritus Chairman, Faux Noise and Sky after dark is the day that the pond can stop delivering reminders of the work and deeds and thoughts of the evil Empire ... and their creations ...






And for those still wanting to Barks at the moon, the pond believes if you click on this you can see the earlier panel in a larger context ...




Tuesday, April 16, 2024

In which there's much to note, but mein Gott, there's still a groaning and a Killer time ...

 

On the upside, the pond has developed a taste for Stewart Lee's scribbling, if only on the basis that his relationship to Birmingham is remarkably like the pond's relationship to Tamworth: I value Brummie art, but who else does?

On the downside, the pond read Ariel Bogle's piece in The Graudian, False claims started spreading about the Bondi Junction stabbing attack as soon as it happened, including this ...

...Esther Chan, a disinformation researcher, said “Islamophobic and anti-immigrant comments” were rife online in the hours after the Bondi Junction stabbing, including speculation about the perpetrator’s skin colour, appearance and supposed religion.
“In fact, several X accounts based outside of Australia and each with a large following were among the earliest to share these videos, some unverified, alongside comments with a racist or Islamophobic undertone,” she said.
“It’s important to beware of how incidents like this can be used to promote harmful narratives.”
In the aftermath of the attack, several prominent verified accounts on X, including those of journalists and far-right political leaders in the UK, speculated without evidence that the person responsible was motivated by Islamic faith.
The verified account of Julia Hartley-Brewer, a presenter on British channel TalkTV, claimed the attacker was an “Islamist terrorist”, which she later clarified was incorrect. The verified account of Britain First co-founder Paul Golding made similar allegations, which had been viewed hundreds of thousands of times.

TalkTV?

Yep, she's another Murdoch minion, and the tone of her X'ing retraction was insulting.

My tweet below was incorrect. The attack in Sydney was not an Islamist terror attack, it was carried out by a man the police have since named as Joel Cauchi who they say had mental health problems not an ideological motive. I doubt that will be much consolation to the families of his victims.

The pond doubts that anyone will be consoled by that sort of half-baked retraction or the mentality it doesn't seek to cloak ...

It turns out that others kept Hartley-Brewer company, per Charlie Lewis's timeline in Crikey, paywall, including inter alia:

8.09pm: Julia Hartley-Brewer, a host on right-wing UK broadcast outlet TalkTV, posts on X: “Another day. Another terror attack by another Islamist terrorist. Six dead, others seriously injured, including a baby”, accompanied by an uncensored photo of the attacker after he had been shot dead. Hartley-Brewer has more than 460,000 followers. 
8.30–9.30pm: Channel 7 incorrectly identifies the student as the killer on its YouTube channel and website. They hook this to “expert analysis” from criminal psychologist Tim Watson-Munro. Watson-Munro gets several details of the attack wrong during the interview. This clip stays on the Channel 7 YouTube channel for more than an hour. It is viewed at least 3,000 times. 
8.39pm: NSW police commissioner Karen Webb says the attacker is believed to be a 40-year-old man and that terrorism is no longer the suspicion: “We are waiting to confirm his identification and if it is the person we believe it is, we don’t have fear for that person holding an ideation. In other words, that it’s not a terrorism incident.”
Sunday April 14
6.05am: Channel 7 presenter Matt Shirvington, broadcasting live from the Bondi Junction on Sunrise, once again incorrectly identifies the student as the killer.
7.10am: The father of the erroneously identified student posts on X, demanding NSW police release the name of the true perpetrator “before this nonsense claiming it was my son causes more harm”.
8.44am: A 40-year-old Queensland man is confirmed as the attacker.
~12.15pm: Channel 7 issues an apology for incorrectly identifying the killer. (It has declined to comment on where it originally sourced the incorrect name.)
7.59pm: The student mistakenly identified by Channel 7 as the killer tells The Australian: “It’s extremely disappointing to me to see people mindlessly propagating misinformation like this without even the slightest thought put into fact checking”.

The pond realises all this was traversed in last night's Media Watch: Inflammatory fake news floods social media as Seven News apologise for misidentifying the Bondi Junction attacker who killed six people.

Even so, the pond can't resist noting that all the vile roads seem to lead to the Chairman''s minions or to Seven and Kerry Stokes, and so the pond was on the road again today, seeking to avoid jumping the gun, but invariably involved in the business of promoting harmful narratives, which can only be corrected by resorting to the comments by assorted able correspondents...

For starters, there's the Lehrmann matter and yes the pond hung in through the entire reading of the learned judge's findings in relation to the matter. 

The pond makes no finding on the matter, as it has consistently refused to comment on a matter that has been before various courts, though the pond will make sure not to leave hat if ever in the company of the learned judge (how everyone loved that joke).




On the upside, is this the chance Dame Slap and the reptiles have finally been waiting for, the chance to let the Lehrmann matter go? 

Surely Dame Slap should get back to climate change denialism, the dangers of renewables, the threat of the woke, occasional bouts of transphobia and so on ...

The pond recorded the moment the option became available to the reptiles yesterday ...




What do you know, the wretches had let loose Mein Gott, there he was in the preferred far right 'top of the lizard Oz digital world ma', and he's suddenly an astonishing defence expert up there with the bromancer.

Before getting on to Mein Gott - the pond's new favourite defence expert - the pond checked out this morning's edition to see if there was the slightest sign of remorse regarding the rag's treatment of Higgins. month after month after relentlessly crusading Dame Slap month ...




Media Watch seemed to cover the main points: Ten wins its defamation case in the Federal Court after it found Bruce Lehrmann was ‘hell-bent’ on having sex with Brittany Higgins.

But the reptiles?

Hah, Rice and Dudders: Lee’s findings are comprehensive and exhaustive. They should be the final word of this whole mess.

Dame Slap: In other words, though Lee’s job is done, and a fine one he did, this omnishambles is not yet over.

Yep, she'll go on persecuting Higgins until the long lost cows up in the back paddock come home ... and so the world will continue to miss out on Dame Slap's expertise in climate change denialism, the dangers of renewables, the threat of the woke, occasional bouts of transphobia and so on ...

Below the fold, the pond was pleased to see that Mein Gott had survived the morning cull ...





The meretricious Merritt with the cheek to talk about trial by media, when the reptiles have been indulging in trial by media from the moment the circus began? Count the pond out ...

And as for cackling Claire raging at decadence, in her rage at the NDIS, she seems to have missed the obvious target ...





A final note on another circus currently taking place. Some put it at the top of the world ma ...






Yep, the Graudian was doing it live, while the best the reptiles could do was a note from Killer Creighton down the page ... and so the pond slipped him in, but only down the page ...

And so at last to the business of the day, and Mein Gott, what a relief it was to tiptoe past the bromancer and land on a real defence expert ...




Mein Gott, what a compelling line, finally a chance to deal with the axis of weevils, though disappointingly, Mein Gott was interrupted by the flow of snaps, just when the pond was hoping for talk of nuking Iran, and why not nuke Gaza at the same time, seeing as how that's been mooted ...

China, Iran and a multitude of Arab nations condemned an Israeli minister’s statement that a nuclear bomb on the Gaza Strip was an option in the Israel-Hamas war, calling it a threat to the world.
At Monday’s long-planned opening of a United Nations conference whose goal is to establish a nuclear-free zone in the Middle East, many ambassadors expressed condemnations and criticisms of comments by Israel’s Heritage Minister Amihai Eliyahu, who later called his remarks in a radio interview Sunday “metaphorical.” (AP).

The poor lad was spanked with a lettuce leaf for that courageous nuking suggestion, but on with the snaps ...






By golly, they've given Mein Gott a hero - the orange Jesus - and some fine looking kit, and he knows just what to do with it ...




Sadly, Australia can't nuke the nukes? Never mind ... Mein Gott is a first class warrior who can handle disappointment ...




Meanwhile, as great minds contemplate a ding dong right royal do, the genocide continues, but it would be wrong for an eminent defence expert of the Mein Gott kind to notice ...






If the United States and its allies can rush to Israel's defense in the skies, shooting down dozens of drones and missiles fired by Iran, why can't they do the same for Ukraine — which has suffered under Russia's missile attacks for more than two years?
That's the question Ukraine's President Volodymyr Zelenskyy and his country's staunchest backers in the West were asking on Monday, hours after the U.S., the United Kingdom, France and Jordan helped Israel shoot down some 300 drones and missiles fired by Iran in retaliation after Israel killed its senior military commanders in Syria.
“European skies could have received the same level of protection long ago if Ukraine had received similar full support from its partners in intercepting drones and missiles," Zelenskyy wrote Monday evening in a post on X.

And so to economics and the usual Tuesday groaning ... with the usual topic, the perils of renewables.




In this episode, Dame Groan turns populist and rails at filthy rich people - snaps will be provided - and their filthy plans to turn to renewables ...




Of course virtually all Dame Groan's pals is not virtually the same as virtually all economists, but remember there's billionaires to demonise, and here are a couple (naturally right-thinking Gina of the IPA wasn't one of them)...






There was also a snap of a smirking patsy ...






Never mind the snaps, heed the groaning, and celebrate coal and the nuking of the country to save the planet ...




Meanwhile on another planet, as noted by a correspondent, there have been many stories about a recent event, none of which sullied the lizard Oz or the groaning ...google as you will, this being just a screen cap ...






One tweet that caught the eye?





Follow. that link and you land on NOAA confirms 4th global coral bleaching event.

Meanwhile the old duck (don't blame the pond, she called herself a duck) was still groaning away ...




Forget it Jake, it's just another groaning about renewables, and the pond has done its duty ...




As for climate action being good for the world, forget it, and as for the Australian economy, that too is under control. 

The pond understands that Dame Groan is soon to launch a first class tourism business in the deep north ... with millions expected to flock to the reef to see the dead coral, the sensational experience of a lifetime... 

Perhaps the Riddster can join her in the venture.

And so for a bonus to Killer. The pond had thought that sorting out the middle east and the planet's climate might be enough for one day, but it was the Killer headline to Killer's piece that tipped the scales...




The pond can't really expect to pin that headline on Killer - back in the day, the pond found all sorts of weird headlines attached to its copy by a sub-editor.

Even so, it's worth noting that the charge isn't about allegations he illegally paid off a porn star. Making. hush money payments isn't a crime in New York, and while doing cash and kill stories is deeply unethical, what could anyone expect from a peckerwood or the National Enquirer?

Even the naughty business with the cheques and falsifying business records only counts as a misdemeanour, because you wouldn't want to get in the way of Americans doing business. 

The way Bragg elevated it to felony charges was to skate past all that and argue that the orange Jesus falsified business records in a conspiracy to influence the 2016 elections.

But then you wouldn't have got a mention of a porn star in the headline, and everyone knows the best way to sell a Killer story is to slip in a porn star ... (or perhaps cocaine and hookers).

As expected there were a couple of distracting snaps of a dull kind ...





A snap of a lawyer and a banner? And Killer seemed strangely muted, with the pond feeling the need to croon  ...

You walked into the courtroom like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your face it was mango, or maybe apricot
You had one eye in the mirror, as you watched yourself gavotte ...

Sorry, he just walked into the courtroom and the problem the pond has with the way of singing 'apricot' to match up with 'yacht' and 'gavotte' will have to go on the back burner ...




The pond was pleased that Killer stood by the Donald. Where's the harm in conspiring to attempt to overthrow the US system of government and the peaceful transfer of power?

And as for those bloody New Yoikers and their devious ways, they're not bloody Americans, you have to cross state lines to Joisey to get a real American, amirite?

Then it was on to the last couple of gobbets of suffering by the unfairly persecuted orange Jesus...





Hah, Killer's already explained the agenda, judge. You can't slip out of it that easy ... you're just a closet Democrat with spawn working for democratic candidates, as if anybody wanted anything to do with democracy.

If only she'd been working for a Saudi Arabian prince, or perhaps Vlad the sociopath, it would have looked like a real court case ...




Yep, he wants to be present at everything, except when he wants to skip the trial, or he wants to nod off because he's a sleepy Don ... and so to end with a celebration of the new circus in town, and in Tamworth, you always needed a circus, even if you became vaguely aware of the cruelty done to the animals (and the humans)...