Saturday, May 19, 2018

In which the pond suffers through an extended bout of Dame Slapping ...


Is it just the pond imagining it, or are the reptiles getting more and more verbose?

Put it another way, how many times can a single woman be held up as emblematic of all that's wrong with the corporate world,  and how many times can the reptiles do this while absolutely ignoring all the men involved in the assorted banking royal commission scandals?

Put it another way, how many times can Dame Slap bitch slap women before she tires of the sport?

It goes without saying that the reptiles and Dame Slap have a kind of energiser bunny capacity, which quickly induces exhaustion in the pond …



Oh fuck, there she goes again, only this time instead of donning the MAGA cap, she's going super hero, as if the world can be reduced to the mind set of a Marvel comic, or even worse, a movie based on a dozen Marvel comics ...


Oh fuck, how long must it go on, the persecution and the suffering and the martyrdom, before we get to the proper target?

Ah, here she is ...


Yes, yes, but can we get to the bit where it's all Catherine Brenner's fault? 

After all, she earned a photo - strange this preferential treatment of women when so many men turned up in starring roles at the banking royal commission - but we haven't yet heard how everything is her fault ...


Yes, yes, but what about that dreadful Brenner woman? After all, there was this bit of click-bait teasing going on …


Indeed, indeed, could anyone imagine an addle-brained, aged and out of touch blow-in pontificating on sundry matters be worshipped by the reptiles? 

Could anyone imagine a man who turned up in the banking royal commission being mentioned in despatches by the reptiles? Now let's get on with it, and blame that dreadful woman ...


Hmm,  a bit of a dud really. Not nearly enough on how it was all that dreadful woman's fault.

Now usually around this time the pond would just run a cartoon and call it quits, but kept yearning for more about the woman who symbolises the ruination that all women bring to the corporate world … and luckily there was more, and here's why ...

As well as columnist, Dame Slap has turned investigative reporter, and now shares her byline with other reptiles …



And it was in that "news" story, blurring - as is the reptile habit - the line between columns and news, between columnists and reporters reporting, that the dreadful woman was given her proper serve ...


Ah, well what do you know, he resigned and was replaced by a woman … thank the long absent lord there was nothing personal in that interminable rant … but passing strange, the pond can't remember that revelation being discussed at length in Dame Slap's column, or perhaps being highlighted at the very beginning of the rant as passing relevant ...

And around this point the pond would usually settle for a cartoon, say one celebrating the business ethics of men in the corporate world ...


And then call it quits …

But the reptiles were determined to lather up a storm, and the leftist twitterati kept on bombarding the site ...

 

Oh fitty f, must the pond? 

But in the interests of diversity and balance, two men going hard at each other, the pond plunged into the Kohler ...


Dear sweet long absent lord, where would this end? 

Next thing you know the reptiles would be replacing the dog botherer with Waleed Ali, and even worse, imagine if that dreadful Yassmin Abdel-Magied was given a column, and it was plonked right down next to Dame Slap's …

In his own indirect, roundabout way, the choleric Kohler seemed to be saying that the current reptile business model was going to be swept away, in the same way as other insular, hidebound businesses ...


The pond has absolutely no idea how Alan Kohler keeps getting printed in the lizard Oz, but by this time, the pond was exhausted, and settled for a cartoon celebrating future job options for reptile scribblers ...

2 comments:

  1. Corrigan nearly meets one of Kohler's criteria: he's an alien living and working overseas, but in Switzerland (that fine home of democratic waterfronts and unions) not China. But then, Switzerland didn't (very grudgingly) grant federal female suffrage until 1971, so no Swiss company would ever have made AMP's mistake.

    It strikes me though, that Corrigan and Albrechtsen seem to believe that the Board is actually responsible for day to day running of a company, not for just periodically overseeing the successes and failures of the CEO and management.

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  2. In case anybody is befuddled by Corrigan's naive and ignorant ravings about "having the best person for the job", then just consider Kohler's sane and sensible analysis of that hoary rubbish:

    Kohler: "Which sounds fine, except ... define "best". Do we mean highest IQ ? Do we set intelligence tests ? Hardly. Longest experience in that industry ? That's a recipe for no fresh ideas. Well versed in being a director ? Everyone has to start somewhere. "Best" is obviously a subjective, changeable notion and must depend on what's needed at the time."

    Does anybody think that Corrigan, or Dame Snap, will ever have the brains to grasp what Kohler is saying ?

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