Monday, May 21, 2018

In which the Oreo gets religious freedom week off with a bang ...


It was Crikey that drew the pond's attention to this potent patch of purple prose by Patrick, and the pond felt the need to spread its pulchritudinous perfection as far and as wide as possible …

And then came this, with its cheeky hieroglyph ...


Meanwhile, the rolled gold delusion rolled on …this time on The Insiders ...


Translation: "I've got a ticket made of metal, such as brass, coated with a thin layer of gold, used to make inexpensive jewellery, and any rolled gold promise or reference I make should be taken as a cheap trinket of the Tarjay kind …"

But the pond has given up on rolled gold, and today is triumphant.

On the weekend, it predicted that religious freedom would turn into a reptile crusade this week, and sure enough, the reptiles let loose the Oreo … and not just your ordinary average Oreo … it's your ...


There was just one mystery.

Why hadn't she been blessed with the Lobbecke of the day, and instead had to settle for a glum stock image?


Please ignore that untimely bit of trolling from places distant, the Oreo is on fire this day … and it requires no comment from the pond, just the warmest of recommendations …



You see, a line like "Christian religious freedom empowers the secular state" is a form of popping Oreo perfection …


Next week we can look forward to a column from the Oreo on the wickedness of Israel as a theocratic state …

And no doubt the Oreo will be able to gloss the megalomania of  Philippians 2;10-11:

... so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth,  and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Or perhaps Isaiah 2:2:

It shall come to pass in the latter days that the mountain of the house of the Lord shall be established as the highest of the mountains, and shall be lifted up above the hills; and all the nations shall flow to it ...

Or perhaps Romans 13:4 explaining how the one in authority is god's servant:

...for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer.

The pond could go on and on with biblical exegesis, but alas, the pond fears that the Oreo is lax in her bible studies, and doesn't understand the plain meaning of Ephesians 1:22: And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church 

It's taken centuries to claw things away from the control of the church, and blather about paying Caesar taxes doesn't cut it up against the comprehensive attempts by believers to direct the behaviour of non-believers (not to mention carving out a tidy tax-exempt situation for themselves …)

But the pond promised not to comment, and should revert immediately to the Oreo ...



The pond must fail the Oreo in her bible studies class.

The old testament in particular is littered with talk of warfare, and god defeating and punishing unbelievers and getting down with it - She loved a good punch-up in Her name - but perhaps the pond's favourite is personal and can be found in 2 Kings 2:23-24 …

From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” 
He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys. (more smitings here for those who love their smitings).

Sweet long absent Jesus, give the pond militant atheism any day of the week up against angry Xian bears doing the will of the lord …

And so to a matter where, for the sake of crass commerce, the Oreo's brethren bow to the rules of Islam, with more Wilcox to be found here ...



1 comment:

  1. Wau, you have been brushing up on your biblical studies, DP. To very good effect, thankfully.

    But as you said: "...the Oreo is on fire this day … and it requires no comment from the pond". Indeed not, the usual special pleading and selective blindness are bleedin' bloody obvious. The Oreo much reminds me of an acquaintance who "believes literally in the bible" so long as she is allowed to pick out the bits that are "literal".

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