Thursday, April 26, 2018

In which the pond just squeaks in a chance to celebrate the return of the savvy Savva ...


A responsibility to the sheep!

Won't someone think of the poor little baa humbug lambs because all they want to do is be live slaughtered in the middle east.

Talk about a mission statement:we owe it to those baa humbug lambs, who just want to die proudly for the bigly cause.

Even for a devoted meat eater of the pond kind, David Littleproud managed to sound particularly stupid … but that serves to introduce a little meditative reflection on the part of the pond.

You see, come 20th July, the pond will have been blogging away for a whole decade, ten years of reptile mayhem, and now the pond can sense that it might well have achieved one of its key missions.

Over the years, the pond developed and refined a mission statement whereby it would cut back or perhaps give up blogging altogether, provided either the Chairman passed on, his company went bankrupt or passed into other ownership, the reptile tree killer editions came to a halt (sucks boo to the Major), or as a substitute, the commentariat were locked away behind a firm paywall, out of sight and out of mind, except for those mad enough to subscribe - delusionals, and perhaps anthropologists interested in delusional cults …

This morning the reptiles did their very best to stop the pond celebrating the return of the savvy Savva, and it was a narrowly run thing - the abiding principle of the pond being that to subscribe to the lizard Oz is hardly a sport, like tickling a trout in the bathtub and claiming it as a catch.

The pond suspects that soon enough the reptiles will shut down everything just to spite the pond, and retirement then comes a day closer. Or perhaps the pond might just recycle the Bolter abusing the Savva for her craven love of Malware?

It would be a desperate solution, narrowly avoided this day, and yet, when the pond eventually landed the savvy Savva, a vast wave of existential ennui came over the pond.

Nothing had changed in the Savva universe, she was still Malware's hagiographer, and it mystified the pond why anyone would bother to lock her up … but an even greater mystery was why the pond would care to pay attention …

Does the masochism run even deeper than the pond realised?


Waiter, a goodly serve of the Savva kool-aid if you please …

Of course it isn't just straight out arse-kissing. Savva is too cunning for that. Malware's flaws are paraded for inspection, but then judged acceptable, while the boot goes into the onion muncher, and his lickspittle lackies, and who could argue with that …

And the savvy Savva manages to keep this going for an entire column … as she weighs rivals, contenders and hypocrites, and finds them all wanting against the mighty Malware … and outlines strategies for victory, but sssh, don't mention the NBN ...


And then just to confirm that Savva is living in something of a delusional world herself, comes the mantra of hope at the very end ...


Businesses will realise more jobs and higher wages for workers are the way forward?

Yes, and sheep are lining up for live slaughter in the middle east.

Yes, and has the pond got a first rate top notch copper to the nineteenth century NBN node to sell you …

Never mind, the one thing the pond will miss if the savvy Savva disappears behind the paywall is the chance to run much more savvy Pope cartoons as a Greek chorus to the text - or should that be Spielbergian sharks - with savvier papal advice always to hand here


Victory … or should that be a Donald cap slip, VICTORY ...


Old jungle saying: "To defeat a Nazi, one must become a Nazi" …

The defeated:



Silly old dodderer - probably grew up in a time when the Poms downplayed all that Nazi stuff and promoted the idea that they were different and more civilised ...



Where did that get them? And besides there was Dresden, so why not just get on with some decent Nazi imagery?



Say what? Only the opportunity to "seek exemptions" when everyone knows that to defeat the Nazi, it is essential to become the Nazi … eye of the tiger etc etc, yadda yadda …


The victors:

Fearing nothing, not even the fury and dint of battle, the reptiles flung themselves against the barbed wire …



The pond hesitates to list the entirety of reptile Mark Day's record as a war hero … it's almost as long as the pond's, but what a ripper image he led with, and how admirable it is …

Now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds …


There's the path towards democracy, and then there's bombing the shit out of countries, as a way of bringing them to peace and civilisation …

The choice is clear enough. Do it in a mealy-mouthed, milk soppish, foppish way, or do it with style, and decent blacks and proper leathers ...



Oh they always had the best iconography, and that's why Melburnians still wear black as the old guard head to Mario's for food poisoning ...



Silly old Pom lover with all that rah rah stuff …

Get with Marvel comics, or get over it …



Mark Day understands that to defeat a Nazi, it is wise to become one … and as for Isis, well, we all share some fundamental values, or at least Xian evangelicals do, and if that's not a good enough reason to introduce death imagery, what is?

Now the artist behind "Death Smackdown" might sound like some sort of wimp ...

The central character of the Medic was chosen to represent an easily identifiable figure in the Defence Force as someone who saves lives. His call sign PK, Pahpah Kilo, Kilo is the generic call sign for all medics. As Dickie commented "it captures what Medics in the Australian Defence Force try and achieve every day. Sometimes they must possess 'godlike' skills and deliver them swiftly in order to save lives." (Greg Hunt it here, if you've gotten over the shame of the hunter's last outing).

There's death in the imagery, and we all know what that means ...


Gott mit uns ...



Naturally the reptiles were on hand with some images to put female flight crew at ease …

Let's face it, showing a saucy woman in a provocative pose goes towards fostering camaraderie and bonding ...



Wait a second, there are women flying planes in the military?

Where did we go wrong?

Dammit the next thing you know they'll be talking up the way a female pilot with the US navy brought a crippled bird down to land 

Come on reptiles, show Tammy some inspiring imagery ...



Ah yes, that's the sort of sensitivity we need … 


Talk about sublime comedy ...


Indeed, indeed… perhaps a little more nose art to keep the good ladies on side?

   

 

There's nothing like a little inter-species mating, or pillaging or raping, to evoke the essence of civilisation … and why not a little ball-crushing as well?



Dammit, it's all the fault of political correctness, when killing and destruction is what it's all about.

Forget that blather about bringing democracy and peace, why not celebrate the bringing of death and destruction, and killing and bombing and slaughter, and the more massive the better …


And what a relief that the reptiles are riding to iconographic victory … and righteous slaughter ...



And now, for those who missed the pond's last effort celebrating the reptile warrior spirit, the Game of Thrones of Australian tree-killing endeavour,  here's a couple of Mitchell and Webb sketches celebrating the joys of being Nazi ...






Wednesday, April 25, 2018

A nattering "Ned" montage ...








Wilfred Owen was killed in action at the age of 25 one week before the Armistice.
More Wilfred Owen poems here ...


In which the pond does its best to avoid nattering "Ned" ...


Naturally the pond was alert to the reptiles' coverage of the onion muncher this day … and there were plenty of photo opportunities …


The pond is a keen, devoted follower of the onion muncher, and a claim "Western front our win" and "Western front our victory" seemed entirely typical of his grasp of history … but when it got into it, the pond suspected that he might have been fitted up by click-bait trolling Oz reptiles ...


Well Australian forces did play a significant role in the western front, but that's hardly claiming the the western front as "our victory", which would be particularly foolish and egregious, given the number of other armies involved in the fighting …

The pond ploughed on ...


Well yes Amiens was a significant victory, and Monash played a significant role in the planning, even if, at the end …

The Canadians gained 13 km (8.1 mi), Australians 11 km (6.8 mi), the French 8 km (5.0 mi), and the British 3.2 km (2.0 mi). (Greg Hunt the full battle here).

Of course the Canadians tend to get more agitated about Vimy Ridge but Amiens was something of a joint venture.

That said, at the end of the day, the onion muncher might only be accused of aggrandising attention-seeking in his usual way.

His talk of Australia playing a disproportionate one, of punching above its weight, is canny, and it seems it was the reptiles who decided to turn that canny talk into the pure, undiluted, mindless blather and nonsense of "Western front our win" and "Western front our victory" …

And so to other matters troubling the reptiles this day.

The pond wonders whether it will ever pluck up the courage to endure nattering "Ned" rabbiting on about the first world war and "cultural appropriation of the past" …there are many sacrifices to be made, but is this the right one?

Dame Slap had joined the reptile horde, and turned on the corporates ...



But the pond reeled away wondering if the reptiles had joined a post-modernist, anarchist world where anything was permitted, including an uncapitalised letter after a question mark.

The pond is aware that this was a stylistic thing that was allowed way back when, but since when have the reptiles gone the full Queen Victoria and adopted this? apparently when preparing headers. 

The pond is aware that there are some exceptions to the rule, as when the following sentence lacks a verb, but isn't 'first earn our trust' a sentence with a verb? who knows …

Meanwhile, there was considerable agitation about the dandruff gathering ways of the Donald …


On this day of days, suddenly he was elevated to the top of the digital page ...



It was simply too much for the reptiles to bear ...



And to think that the pond only a short time ago was feasting on WSJ yarns about how it was the dangerous elites that were the problem, and not the Donald ...




Chaotic, dysfunctional … 

Some days the lizard Oz is beginning to sound like Fairfax, and all that redemptive talk of the Donald once again hits a rocky shore …

And speaking of Fairfax, head here for more papal reflections like this …and he has a twitter feed here.




In which the pond thanks the reptiles for offering up the WSJ as a distraction ...


There's nothing more piquant than the sight of a hack working for a billionaire, offering up a convoluted defence of an alleged billionaire, who freely lied to wangle his way on to the Forbes' list, and was given a spanking on the bottom with the rolled-up magazine as a reward for his efforts …

Come on down, don't lurk McGurn, the pond would like a spurn and burn whimsy - in the spirit of the Donald - as a distraction from the goings on down under …


Yes, that sounds like a thoroughly silly and pointless thesis, a way to waste a few minutes …tedious arguments of insidious intent, measured out in coffee spoons, and subject to revision before the taking of a toast and tea ... though of course the pond was only interested because it offered the chance to run a few cartoons …


The pond generally leaves the United States alone, accepting the bounty of late night comedians offered up on YouTube, and leaving it at that … but every so often, for reasons the pond can't understand, the local reptiles let a thoroughly stupid WSJ piece out from behind the paywall …perhaps as a reminder that life could be worse, and the pond could be paying for the nonsense ...


Actually, before we consider McGurn's pathetic, half-baked set of convoluted excuses, please allow another cartoon …


Now the pond is ready to consider:



Confronted by this sort of bizarro logic, what else is there to do than call McGurn a thoroughly stupid man - as a Donald would do - and move on to a cartoon …


Of course everybody was trying to deal with the Donald's latest twittering feast of fury on the weekend, but wait, the reptiles decided they'd let loose another tool from the WSJ kit …


This sounded like a "wringing hands syndrome" outing, but it did create room for another cartoon …


It turned out that it was just a promotional piece, disguised as an issues-driven discussion.

Here the pond must humbly note that loon pond.blogspot.com.au is an internationally recognised brand that has received lots of positive and constructive feedback from liberals because of its lovingly constructed zoo of conservative thinking … though it has to be said that the pond has of late ignored responses to its correspondents while still deeply appreciating the input and the links …

There you go, that's how to be self-serving

Now watch as Wahed diligently goes about the business of slipping in a few plugs and building the brand, while purporting to be deeply concerned, though the spoilsports didn't give him a hot link ...


When the pond launched Loon Pond, it had no idea it would provide a home for silly people of the Wahed kind, jerking their own chain and no doubt provoking strong reactions from anyone irritated by this sort of bleeding heart nonsense about the need to get along …

But instead of running a meme from Jack and Mars Attacks!, the pond was grateful for the chance to run a few more cartoons …


Yep, it seems even Stiglitch is for turning …


As for the WSJ whining, who said life was fair?