Tuesday, May 09, 2017

In which the pond does a quick pivot from petulant Peta to Chicken Little Moorice ...



The Catholic Boys' Daily, aka the Onion Muncher Manly Megaphone, has been doing its best to destabilise Malware in the run-up to the budget.

Not that the pond minds much - after all, Govt to introduce legislation for a broadband tax $7.10 minimum monthly charge struck the pond as an April Fool's day joke, until it noted the date in ITnews was 8th May ...

They produce a crappy second rate network, and then they want to introduce a tax to pay for it?

Earlier in the day, the onion muncher's failed chief wrangler was also sinking in the petulant Peta boot ...



The pond has tried to stay away from the budget - a relatively meaningless ritual - but anyway, it wouldn't matter what Malware and ScoMo delivered ... the sniping, the white-anting, the undermining, and the wrecking will never end ...



The reptiles naturally seized the moment to remind everyone of Malware's status as a pungent toilet smell in its polling, but the pond couldn't see the point of repeating the data, not when there was also a Moorice in the room ...




What's wondrous about Moorice is the way he has become an apocalyptic figure, an old school Jeremiah delivering long, mournful complaints, lamentations and jeremiads ...

Moorice is now in so far that he needs disasters to happen, as a way of certifying his vision and proving his point ...



Was it only a short time ago that Moorice was finding hope, comfort and solace in the Donald?

But that was then, and a disaster is needed right here, right now ...how else can Moorice's big stick be wielded with proper effect?

Back in the day, in his earlier incarnation as the world's greatest climate scientist, Moorice was still doing his patented Chicken Little routine ...

But then he was mocking the apocalyptic types who saw the end of the world unfolding as a result of climate change ...



The only apocalypse that Moorice could see in those glorious days was the uncertainty, doubt, confusion and chaos sowed by useless climate scientists ...



She'll be right was Moorice's catch-cry, everything's hunky dory, if only those damn fool scientists had the good sense to listen to Moorice. They just had to stop their jibber jabber and turn back to coal, and all would be well.

These days Moorice has taken to disaster in the economy in the very same way he once berated others for demonising the climate.

In this telling of the tale, the onion muncher emerges as a lost hero, and Malware as the useless, ineffective villain ...



"It may take a crisis"?
"May"?

Moorice badly needs an economic disaster, perhaps a repeat of 2008, though with a bit of luck a great depression of the October 1929 kind would do nicely ...

Then the prophet could return from the wilderness with a grim "I told ya so", and look at the devastation with a stern, secretly pleased smile.

He might get what he wants. After all, either disaster awaits or it doesn't, and having cheered on the Donald, it's only fair now to look forward to the Donald helping produce a disaster.

Climate change might also help, but what a shock and a shame that would be, because that would mean that the prophet was a bit like a stopped clock, managing to get the time right a couple of times a day...but failing to notice that the clock was ticking ...

Apocalypticism is hugely popular in the movies these days ...


Top ten? The pond could name a top hundred movies quick enough ...having just revived fond memories of Ray Milland's infinitely funny and nostalgic 1962 flick, Panic In Year Zero!

Moorice probably fires up the Plex each day just to remember the show and its important advice: 

Now we don't know what lies ahead of us. The unknown has always been man's greatest demoralizer. Now maybe we can cope with this by maintaining our sense of values, by carrying out our daily routine, the same as we always have. Rick, for instance, and myself will shave every day... although in his case, maybe every other day. These concessions to civilization are important. They are our links to reality, and because of them we might be... less afraid.

Men, get out your shavers. Women, shaping and styling with a hair blower will be accepted as an equivalent, though you might need to catch a couple of hamsters to get enough electricity ..

If Moorice keeps going, the pond has every hope that he will end up with a separate listing in the wiki on Apocalypticism ...

It would be a fitting reward for a most confused life and confusing life ... where "don't be afraid of climate science, it's all nonsense" is juxtaposed with "be very afraid of economic voodooism, we're all destined to stalk the earth as bankrupt losers."

What people in a hundred years time, sweltering under a three or four degree increase in temperatures, and with a planet denuded of resources make of it all, would be amusing to see, if only the pond had a time machine. Not to worry, Moorice made his fortune, and got out at the right time.

Meanwhile, Rowe has done his own zombie feature, in which ordinary citizens going about their daily business are terrified by a sight barely glimpsed in the rear vision mirror, perhaps a devourer of human flesh, certainly a hideous, grotesque sight, as unsettling as a Moorice prophecy of doom... and for those up to it, there's more shocking, startling Rowe here ...




1 comment:

  1. La fille p├ętrinante dit: "...it beggar's belief"

    Ok, I'll bite; what exactly is "a beggar's belief" ? That he/she/it is entitled to alms for the love of Allah, perhaps ?

    I think maybe I'll just speculate on the wonders of Catholic girlies education (other than DP's of course) and contemplate the deep inner meaning of "a miserable Australian" (h/t to David Renwick).

    ReplyDelete

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