Wednesday, September 07, 2016

In which the pond celebrates the right of Dame Slap to slap everyone with her ruler ...


Another sombre, listless Wednesday, and once again the nagging question floats to the surface. 

Where is the Devine, and why has she turned epic leaner rather than heroic lifter? Wednesday was once her day, and now ... the silence of a leaner.

The pond knows she's out there, smugly exchanging messages with other leaners ...


Now there's a shared laugh ...

Luckily, despite the Devine's absence, the pond goes on learning. 

It was jolly good to learn that "son of a whore" isn't a term of personal abuse - so if the pond thinks of Duterte as the psychotic son of Son of Sam, it's just being affectionate - and the pond was immensely gratified to see that a reformed Carrie Fisher was now doing her own impression of NW's Miss Lonelyhearts for teh Graudian...


So that's where being stoned out of your mind on assorted movie sets gets you ...

And it only took a cool US$20 million to settle with Gretchen, and Sam the man goes on ducking and weaving and providing rich comedy material ...

But as usual there's a price to pay in the Devine absence, and that's the elevation of Dame Slap, UN conspiracy theorist, to top of page. Oh sure, right below there was another rich temptation right below her...


Indeed, indeed. All this jibber jabber about fairness, when really, the headline should have read, "I'm alright, and fuck you Jack ... and Jill, if you're silly enough to work instead of staying at home with the kids where you belong ..." 

And what do you know, after all the hand-wringing about income inequality at the G20 and the astonishing news that the trickle down had trickled up, the wags came up with this gif, found here ...


No wonder the neo-fascist charm of teh Donald has an appeal, as Republican voters see the net effects of decades of trickle up Republicanism ...

But it was the siren song of Dame Slap that called ...


Yes, what we need is an epic bout of non-activism. And the minute the pond saw the header, the pond had a bet with itself as to whether Dame Slap would call for the abolition of the HRC, because after all, rights, who needs them ...

All this activism and caring, why it's downright dangerous, and no one more dangerous and infuriating than that Triggs woman ...


Well there you go, that's absolutely the last thing we need in this country, an understanding, acceptance and public discussion of human rights in Australia. 

Better to sweep all that guff under the carpet in a non-activist way and focus on real human rights suffering ...


Let's hope George emerges from his bookcases to deal with Dame Slap's complaints ... because she does go on and on and on ...


It goes without saying that Dame Slap is herself a party to discussions of cabinet's national security committee and has all the necessary skills of those who work at ASIO and access classified information, all necessary prerequisites before you can have an opinion about anything.

As for those gulags, please let's have no talk of gulags, because gulags perform a valuable function. Just ask Uncle Joe. What a role model he was ... and now all Nauru needs is its own Solzhenitsyn and it will be seen that Nauru was set up as a service to Australian literature ...

And so to a final panel from Pope ...


And because for once Pope used panels, the pond can point as a teaser to the last panel here ...

And so to the final Dame Slap gobbet, which points out that perhaps activism is needed, but only activism directed at 18C and the HRC itself ...


Indeed, indeed. Let us have no talk about abolishing the gulags as a sensible budget saving, because zealotry and ideological fanaticism is always a price worth paying ...

Sadly the pond takes no pleasure in having called it by predicting that Dame Slap would issue a clarion cry to get rid of the HRC. 

There's just too many human rights ... and besides, her cry was as predictable as the notion that fairness and a fair go was just another economic foible and folly ... and besides, while the pond bet itself a bottle of Grange, no one's stepped up with the price for a bottle ...

Speaking of gorgeous George and human rights, the pond is routinely entranced by Gadfly, who achieves a level of vituperative abuse, and an overflowing memory of human folly in his appearances in the Saturday Paper. 

The pond usually doesn't quote people who need the hits, but this was too rich ...
 

Ah, those wretched human rights ...

Fortunately there's a lot more Gadfly here - amazingly he doesn't find Bill Leak's cartoons funny - while others see them as a way of drumming up more business ...


Such rich comedy, and yet still, how determinedly unfunny ... and when will the Devine stop leaning?

Luckily, David Rowe also celebrated gorgeous George and there's a lot more Rowe here ...


And Rowe has also been given Sam a right old basting ...



Ah, so that's where the pond's bottle of Grange got to ...


5 comments:

  1. Ahhhh... that's some chutzpah!

    Complain about the 'petty scuttlebutt put by the commission' whilst simultaneously putting out petty scuttlebutt from unnamed staffers.

    Are we sure this is from the Lizard Oz and not New Idea?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think New Idea has better editorial standards than that!

      Delete
    2. True. New Idea's sources are always 'close' to the person.

      Dame Slap doesn't even suggest that.

      Didn't Devine get slapped on the wrist for doing something similar?

      Delete
  2. Where is the Devine?
    Miranda is on the road to Damascus.
    I've warned the Syrians.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Silly old me thinking Eric's illustration was just crap for no particular reason. Turns out he's got her drinking power - not pinot gris! Silly me and how clever of him. Eric really is the perfect accompaniment to their odd, stunted stories.

    ReplyDelete

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