Monday, May 30, 2016

Day 70 of MUC and day 23 of MOC, and the pond reaches for an Oreo ...


(Above: or you could find more Rowe here).

Please, don't ask the pond. We'd rather watch paint dry or listen to chalk squeaking on blackboard than watch Malware do his impression of teflon, or Bill frantically reading Stanislavsky in search of an action evoking "sincerity" ...

And please, don't blame the pond.

In a normal world, the election campaign would be just beginning ... we wouldn't already be at day 70 of MUC, Malware's unofficial campaign, and day 23 of MOC, Malware's official campaign ...

The cruelty is all his, and the Teflon will not stick ... it will not stick!!

Instead of brooding about the tedium of the night with the bouffant one ...


...as always, the pond turns to the reptiles for its understanding of the world, and what a fine front page there is this day ...


Naturally the pond had to bite.

Which Labor veteran was looking for a moment in the sun and his thirty pieces of silver?

Who had the reptiles managed to dig up - perhaps exhume is a better and more appropriate word ...


There's a lot more, but that'll do piggie, that'll do.

The pond routinely gets sucked in and routinely is disappointed by the naked, brazen nature of the reptile snake-oil selling ...

This ning nong no-hoper nonentity from the north routinely pops up like a grisly spectre at inappropriate or irrelevant times to do an ancient mariner routine ...

Here he was awhile ago in the ABC ...


Yes, indeed, and the pond is still asking what the hell he's doing here ... except filling up the front page for the reptiles with a bit of idle grand-standing of the more pathetic Queenslander kind ...

Of course De Lacy might have noted the way that the reef is comprehensively fucked ... Most coral dead in central section of Great Barrier Reef, surveys reveal, and the best the Queensland government, busy building ports and shipping coal, could come up with was an invite to Obama to make a day trip down under ...

But this is Queensland, where toads run wild and free, and nonentities like De Lacy hog the limelight, and of course there's a reason, and it's easy enough to find. You just have to flip eyes down from De Lacy to the news from Newspoll ...


Yes, things are a bit tight in Queensland, so naturally the reptiles did their very best dib dib dob best, and dug up the mummified remains so that they could have a decent, right and proper headline for the Monday edition ...

Meanwhile, the pond is stricken, because the dog botherer's rant about the ABC seems to have gone missing, and the Order of Lenin man has turned to scribbling about his jock strap ...


Suddenly the pond was desperate, but luckily it had a much better solution than unleashing the kraken ...



Unleash the Oreo!


Now usually the pond would attempt some sort of commentary, derive some comedy from the Oreo's deep thoughts.

But truth to to tell, of late the pond has taken to reading readers' comments on the reptile follies, finding them far funnier than anything the pond might come up with ...

Of course there are easy shots to be had - the Oreo talking about the entrepreneurial class, when the only visible means of support she seems to have is ranting for the reptiles ...

And then there's the quoting of the onion muncher ... because he was such a wall-punching success ...

It was enough to keep the pond reading for the final gobbet ...


Indeed, indeed, and such is the irrelevance of money to education that the pond applauds the decision of all the rich schools to give up their libraries and gyms and halls and computers and lavish grounds and trips abroad, and to feed their students gruel so that they might learn the law of the jungle and get ahead ... starvation and poverty being by far the best motivator for educational attainment ...

And there it is, another serving of Oreo, with all the substance that might be expected of a thing made mainly of sugar and flour and fat ...oh and don't forget the high fructose corn syrup ... 

Is it any wonder that the pond wishes it had a million Oreos ...






12 comments:

  1. Keith DeLacy specialises in sending businesses broke. Before entering Parliament, he sent his Cairns Newsagency broke and after leaving Parliament he oversaw the failure of Cubby Station. He should keep his head down.

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    Replies
    1. DeLacy as treasurer was a major liability too. An example: to keep the stamp duties rolling in during the 'recession we had to have' DeLacy introduced the Home Ownership Made Easy (HOME) scam. This was an always doomed rent-to-buy scheme designed to suck in the gullible first home "owner" at the bottom price bracket and thus stimulate the consequent revenues flowing in from the resultant trading up and increased sales through the higher price brackets.

      The poor paid the price. It cost the State treasury ultimately $billions in losses. It cost thousands their savings and chance at home ownership. It caused family breakdowns and suicides. Developers, building companies, and the realty industry made a packet. Of course, DeLacy had the help of other needful self-serving Labor corporate spivs in the Goss government at Cabinet and senior administrative levels including that of Rudd the Dud... many of whom went on to tasty corporate sinecures after bringing on the demise of the Goss government. A Labor exchange of jobs for services rendered. There may be no just deserts after life, but there certainly can be reward after politics.

      Delete
  2. "the entrepreneurial class"?!! hahaha Oriel forgot to mention wealth creators and lifters and leaners. But I think she has a lot of support from the angry old patriarchs who desperately seize upon the musings of any woman who supports their type of civilization as brilliance.
    Which is highly amusing when usually these arsehats claim that women are not very smart, but when one agrees with them they laud her as fucking brilliant. The way they still fawn over the stupidity of that disturbed and damaged old tart Rand is quite creepy.

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  3. Labor seems to get a continual stream of folks like DeLacy: the only reason they took up Labor is because nobody else will have them, and then they bail out just as soon as they realize that they're too incompetent to succeed even in Labor.

    Examples such as Graham 'Swiss Bank Account' Richardson, johns, Latham ...

    Maybe they're just living that old saw about "If you're not a socialist by age 30 you have no head, if you're still a socialist after 30, you have no head". Except that none of them appear to have either heart or head.

    So likewise for the Oreole, who hasn't got a head either. Typical for a reptile, I guess.

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    1. And Bob Carr too.

      But a really nice little interview effort you pointed us to about DeLacy, Anony, and why he's so very wonderful. I especially liked the bit where he says: "My one regret is not keeping a diary of my life before, during and after politics." which follows right on after the bit where he says: "I still find there is nothing more satisfying than creative writing,

      And that would have to be very creative writing indeed.

      Delete
  4. Bouquets for introducing us to Annabel Hepworth. As I searched eagerly for the Labor figure, I was stunned into loud laughter at the discovery that someone named de Lacey was the prominent figure.

    Queensland does it least help explain it. It does seem to produce some strange figures through the Labor movement ranging from Vince Gair and Pat Field to Mal Coulston, Kevin Rudd and Gary Johns. The NSW Right has always had its share of sleaze going right through to Swiss Bank accounts and Eddie Obeid. But Queensland tops the country for defections and betrayals.

    It all seemed to me about my funniest moment since one of Moorice's rants causing me to wonder about Annabel's Hepworth origins. Is she descended from John Hepworth of Nation Review fame? It would explain the quirky humor.

    Orio is as disturbing as she is funny. She seems quite young but very certain in her view of the world, a view of appeal only to IPA and the Reptiles. A little sad in a sense, unlike Dame Slap who is just stark raving.

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    1. As noted above, GD, by Anon, De Lacy is a serial pest and a loser and a dropkick who has graced the pond's pages before ... it's a singular act of desperation that the reptiles should resort to him at this stage of the campaign ... if that's all they've got, then their job as the EXCLUSIVE Government Gazette is in peril ...

      Delete
    2. GD - "She seems quite young but very certain in her view of the world..."

      OREO - Adventures in Writing Camp
      ...I'm brave! Gonna speak my mind ... If you're going to change the world, you better start with an opinion.

      OREO Opinion Writing
      "Double Stuffed" indeed.

      Oreo Separation Pump Gun
      It's a basic human desire to destroy an OREO cookie with a pump action crossbow.

      Delete
    3. No no DP, they've also got Martin Ferguson, but I guess they're keeping their really big guns under wraps until a more appropriate moment.

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  5. Having lived in both states all I can say is Queensland Labor is pretty much the leftish equivalent of South Australian Liberals.....

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