Sunday, March 13, 2016

Damn you Newtown greenie Barners, your coal-hating time has come, thanks be unto Akker Dakker ...


Now the pond has spoken sharply before to the Terrorists about their hagiographic, offensively large and intimidating portraits of their further to the right than Genghis Khan commentariat ...

It takes a brave, bold heart, one that refuses to be intimidated, to avert the eyes for a moment, and get past the bold, bloated face that's offered as a greeting, in order to get to the good, rich Akker Dakker coal seam beneath ...


Now the pond, as a child of Tamworth, who somehow ended up in Camperdown - we can spit or skip a stone across the border with Newtown - is expert on both cultures, and can testify to the infinite wisdom of Akker Dakker ...

These are genuine, died in the wool Newtownians:



Now the pond has to admit, a little shamefacedly, that these photos are clearly rigged. 

Somewhere in there is the pond's tractor, which we keep out the back in the outdoor toilet, just in case in comes in handy when we want to plant a little sorghum in the pocket handkerchief sized top paddock which is a feature of all Camperdown houses ...

And if you look hard, you might find the pond's Tamworth-sun hardened good looks on parade here:



Damn you,  Gunnedah greenies, with your idle pretence at belonging to third generation landholders and NSW farmers, the pond can spot a hipster bearded tatted Newtownian at a hundred yards, and no faux broad-brimmed hat can hide them ...

Of course there are other dangerous greenies up that way, as you can discover at Fairfax here ...


Damn you Newtown greenie Barners, damn you and your vehement protests. 

What is it with this idle chat of a world gone mad? Aren't you ashamed of your mad coal-hating talk of Pythonish absurdity? 

Expect a severe spanking from Akker Dakker, you vile greenie you...

But let us move on to other important matters in Akker Dakker's argument ...


Indeed, indeed, because the Abbott government was such a rip-roaring success, and to think we could have had its rip-roaring, raging abilities on display even earlier. 

Damn you Windsor and your fatal flaws ... who were you to deny the world the "Tony and Peta do minority government" show?

And so on to the rest of the Akker Dakker frothing and foaming, with bonus flying figs ...

Now that's surely a damning indictment. Is there any more bitter member of the commentariat, a bilious, bile-laden man, with a keyboard dipped in acid or perhaps arsenic, than Akker Dakker?

Why the only person able to match him in bitterness and bile in the Terrorist stable is Miranda the Devine ...

... which reminds the pond that the Devine was in fine, conspiratorial, paranoid form yesterday ...

First there was the epic hating of Peta which culminated this way ...

Unfortunately, it’s time to admit that Abbott went from being the hope of the conservative cause to its greatest wrecker. 
Even now, the Abbott-Credlin soap opera is causing mayhem while Labor cheers from the sidelines, or in Anthony Albanese’s case, stirs the pot with faux sympathy. 
Abbott and the Del-Cons are further undermining conservative credibility at a crucial time, when progressive activists are going in for the kill on transformative cultural issues such as same-sex marriage and the sort of LGBTIQ social ­engineering contained in the Safe Schools policy.

Damn you, damn you to hell distracting wall-puncher, you great white hope turned greatest wrecking dope. You're ruining everything ...

Eek, but so is Malware ...


Epic stuff, with greenies under the bed and even in the bathroom.

What's a barking mad member of the Terrorist commentariat to do in these troubled times, but turn prepper, find a handy fort suitable for a bug-out and head for the hills before the greenies turn it into some sort of animal sanctuary ...

But Terrorists, the pond has spoken to you before about the way that your blogs offer cheap, easy access to this sort of bejewelled paranoia, surely a tragedy given that people would pay generous sums of moola just for the pleasure of reading Miranda "hang a greenie from the nearest lamp post" Devine in full flower ...

Never mind, there's the Terrorists done and dusted for the weekend, and it looks as if the pond can look forward to many more rants about Tony Windsor, such is the fear and loathing in the Surry Hills bunker about his chances ... 

And so Tamworth and Newtown will form a mysterious, perfect, yin and yang, or if you will, anima and Terrorist animus.

Must keep the tractor spick and span, and get out the old broad-brimmed hat for the rally down King street ...

Meanwhile, the pond was vastly titillated by Rowe's titillation, twittering here ...


Now sadly the letter is dated in December 2014 ... which rules out all Rowe's later efforts, which is a tragedy.

Surely the time is right to bombard Barners with framed Rowe cartoons in celebration of his contribution to the yartz in Australia ... and mining around Gunnedah ((that's Gunny daahhh, you Newtown hipster bums working at the ABC, you) ... just so he's got lots of mementoes to contemplate in his retirement, whenever it might come, be it later ... or sooner ...










8 comments:

  1. Wau, whichever is that word I'm trying to remember about ascribing your bad stuff, the Dacker has it in spades. But have you ever looked closely at the Dacker's masthead photo - look at how his left eye is just a slit - kinda like a morning "stuck shut" of somebody with conjunctivitis. Didn't wash his hands too good before rubbing his eyes ...

    However, I dips me lid to the Devine. With an imagination like hers, she could be a great fantasy writer if only she could write. That's a real 'Song of Ice and Fire' epic in miniature she's created there.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hang on - what Piers on about, referring to the Armidale Express as Tony Windsor's "local newspaper"? What about Tamworth's mighty Northern Daily Leader?

    Methinks that the Armidale mob have somehow got to Piers.......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah, the filthy NDL is a Fairfax rag, Anon, suitable only for the outdoor dunny. Oh wait, the Armidalean rag is also a filthy Fairfax rag, serving the needs of those wretched apple-munching tablelanders, their only distinction a decent bushranger.

      How on earth could Akker Dakker trust a word either rag says, seeing as how they must be a part of the greenie ABC Fairfax conspiracy to fit out everyone with cardigans ...

      Delete
  3. "Cabcharge (CAB), Slater & Gordon (SGH) and the Ten Network (TEN) will also lose their place from the ASX 200 index in a week’s time...."

    ReplyDelete
  4. Enjoy.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xJWVMLQSAI

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hmmm… just which ABbott government did Windsor 'turn his back on', DP? There wasn't an Abbott government at any stage of WIndsor's political career.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mr Windsor recalls feeling alarm and pity when Mr Abbott revealed the depth of his personal desire to become prime minister.
      ''I remember him saying: 'Tony, I would do anything for this job. The only thing I wouldn't do is sell my arse, but I'd have to give serious thought to it,''' he said.
      His fellow crossbench MP Rob Oakeshott also recalls Mr Abbott begging for the job but would not comment publicly about this gag.

      We could have had the Tony and Peta show in minority government, and what a pleasure that would have been and how exciting and worthwhile for the country, and all for the simple price of his arse.

      Delete
  6. Yes, a simple price. Yet Abbott seemed to elevate his arse's value to something quite extraordinary.

    I really don't think it is; I think it's probably a very ordinary arse.

    ReplyDelete

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