What was it that tricky Dick said?
You won't have Bob Brown to kick around anymore, because, gentlemen, that was his last press conference.
Lordy, lordy, what will they do without Demon Bob?
As usual, Tony Abbott, when called on to make a few kind remarks about a retiring rival, displayed all the sensitivity and generosity of a piece of four be two. All he could do was mumble about too strong a force, and predict turbulent times. Not a single grace note to be found, as you'd expect of a puglistic brawler only ever at home in the gutter.
But compared to the pack of News Ltd journalists, group thinkers and group haters, he was the very model of a Liberal gentleman.
Terry McCrann set the tone in The Australian, that lizard rag of fetid right-wingers and Pellists, with Good riddance to de facto PM Bob Brown (you'll need to google the title or the text below to evade the iron paywall curtain).
Bob Brown has been an unremittingly destructive force in the political life of this nation. His career in public policy has left not a single redeeming consequence.
That this has not been more universally recognised can be placed at the collective feet of the Canberra press gallery, the broadcast media in particular more widely, and the assorted current affairs programs led by the ABC's Lateline.
You'd have to rate that nine out of ten. Why the missing point in what should have been a ten pointer?
Well while blaming the ABC, he forgot to mention Pravda by the Yarra and the Fairfax fiends. That's a slip, an uncommonly rough entry into the water from a great height ...
On and on McCrann ranted, so if you a rant-lover, this might be the rant for you.
Always the tone has been gentle; that unlike the politicians of the two major parties, Brown's motivations were as pure, if somewhat "idealistic", as the driven snow. Global warming of course permitting.
Ah, a global warming joke.
Naturally McCrann's pile of excretory abuse gets a run in Tim Blair's bilious bitchy blog from hell under the header Sobs for Bob, but if you click on the link to the piece, you hit the lizard Oz paywall.
Not to worry, Blair does kindly provide a direct quote for your google engine. How nice to think he helps his readers evade paywall of doom.
And naturally the Bolter picks up on McCrann as a way of delivering the bile in Brown bad, Madame Milne worse.
And you can always rely on the punch-drunk to join in the uppercut fest with David Penberthy at The Punch deciding that Bob Brown is single-handedly responsible for almost everything wrong in Australian politics, in An unwitting architect of the pending Abbott landslide.
Here's Penberthy's idea of praising Brown:
He is very much from the tree hugger stream of the party, not the militant, inner-city, anti-globalisation faction centred around ultra-radicals such as NSW Greens Senator Lee Rhiannon, people who would rather be smashing up McDonalds than tying themselves to a gum tree.
Now you might need help decoding this text. What Penbo means is that Bob Brown is bat shit tree hugger crazy, but at least he's not bat shit commie pervert bastard crazy like some in the party.
Naturally Penberthy transitions smoothly in his piece into establishing that Christine Milne is also bat shit crazy.
Caricatures of coffee drinkers, and stereotypes of Tasmanians? Penberthy has them in abundance:
The Greens have pinched votes from Labor on the Left. When Bob Brown enthused on Friday about his beloved Salamanca Place market in Hobart and the people he likes to hang out with at its famous Retro coffee shop – these are the people who 30 years ago would have still been angry at the dismissal of Gough Whitlam and agitating for the removal of Malcolm Fraser. Today, these soft Left voters almost exclusively belong to the Greens.
Yes, yes, a statistical survey of Retro coffee shop patrons revealed that thirty years ago they maintained the rage.
Oh go whistle your stereotypes in the wind. Did we mention Penbo's from Adelaide? These are the people who could never get over seeing Don Dunstan in PJs.
You see, it's the Greens who've ruined Labor, guaranteed Tony Abbott the PMship, and delivered a less environmentally stringent carbon tax, and foisted their agenda onto the mainstream with no regard for the electoral consequences.
Kevin Rudd v Julia Gillard? Labor shooting itself in the foot routinely?
Oh come on, that was last week, and you can't expect the pea brains in the News Ltd pack to have dinosaur memories that last longer than a nanosecond.
Naturally Piers Akerman is also front and centre with a good spurt of fear, loathing and hatred, and you can bathe yourself in the swampy spray at Toxic legacy is all Brown leaves behind, if you can bear to read a man who in due course will surely one day wear the header Toxic legacy of fear, loathing and hatred is all Piers "Akker Dakker" Akerman left behind.
If you can't be bothered, just repeat a few simple-minded words. Disaster, snake-oil, evil bicycles, blackmail, well-meaning fools, NSW Trotsky-ites, Stalininists, radical anti-semites, scare campaign, sandpit of two-year-olds whining for gratification, loopy other-worldiness, insane agenda etc etc.
Of course Akker Dakker's very sane agenda is to keep digging up and fucking over the world until all nine billion people on the planet in 2050 enjoy the same rabid lifestyle as a hack scribbling poison and venom in best myrmidon Murdochian style.
But the best rant naturally belongs to Miranda the Devine. The Devine will be fondly remembered for Green ideas must take blame for deaths, and this winning insight:
If politicians are intent on whipping up a lynch mob to divert attention from their own culpability, it is not arsonists who should be hanging from lamp-posts but greenies.
And so the "hang a greenie today" campaign began, and it wasn't long before the "if you catch a greenie on a bicycle, hang the greenie and smash the bike" was developed by the Devine as a solution to Sydney's traffic woes.
So naturally the Devine is at it today in A woodchip off the old block:
Greenies are as much the enemy of country people as locusts or droughts. The difference is that natural disasters come and go. The Greens never stop.
And like an old fashioned protection racket, they wreck the joint and now they want to talk.
The mafia! Oh hang 'em, hang 'em high, hang 'em hard.
What's even worse is that there's fresh treachery afoot.
The switch from coal to gas is embedded in the carbon tax package negotiated by Milne and Brown, regardless of their claims to be anti-gas now. The Greens created the problem and now they are posing as saviours. They are snuggling up to traditional enemies like Alan Jones who has gone feral on fracking.
Now the Greens hold joint events with their bete noir shock jock.
Eek, Alan Jones is a greenie. Oh hang him high, hang him hard.
Now you might have some difficulty translating, decoding if you will, the last few pars of the Devine's piece, so please don't think it presumptuous if the pond offers a helping hand:
A well-mannered former convent school boarder, divorcee Milne still has the bossy air of the high school mistress. But it's a mistake to dismiss her as second-rate, "shrill" or "lecturing", as some have. All women sound shrill if you are used to men with deep voices like Brown's.
Decode: why even a second rate, hissy fit, lecturing, bossy, high school mistress and convent dweller hacking away for Murdoch - such as myself - can sometimes sound a little shrill.
She is an authentic conviction politician with values which appeal to the wider community.
Decode: provided you understand that the wider community is limited to Stalinists, Trotsky-ites, psychotics, and delusionals who talk of little green men and world government.
But she is also an ardent Green, every bit as fanatical and illiberal as her mentor Brown. They are the worst type of autocrats, nice, altruistic ones who believe they know what is best for the rest of us. They will stop at nothing in their war on progress.
Decode: This is completely unlike the autocrats and thought police that infest the world of Murdoch, who pretend, while delivering hate speech, that they're the nice altruistic ones who know what's best for the rest of us. They will stop at nothing in their ongoing war on dissenting opinion.
While delivering progress for all. The progress which will see us continue to dig up Australia and ship it to China, and care not a whit or a jot about what might happen to places like the Hunter Valley. Just so long as Clive Palmer and Gina Rinehart are happy, all's well with the world. You won't see them on bicycles or sipping a latte in an urban setting.
The pair's home state of Tasmania is an economic basket case, in technical recession with an unemployment rate of 7.2 per cent, way above the national average of 5.2.
The Greens have destroyed the thriving timber industry that underpinned the economy.
The Greens have destroyed the thriving timber industry that underpinned the economy.
Decode: The greenies have fucked Tasmania by stopping Gunns, who were doing a splendid job fucking Tasmania, and now Tasmania is fucked.
The once proud company Gunns is a shadow of its former self with investors deserting. What the Greens have done to Tasmania, Milne wants to do to Australia.
Decode: the Greens will fuck Australia, unlike the hacks of Murdoch, who simply want to give Clive Palmer and Gina Rinehart their god-given right to fuck over Australia.
Well the pond could go on, mainly because the hacks of Murdoch go on and on, but have you ever seen a finer bunch of hacks indulging in an orgy of hack hatred, fear and loathing?
In the old days, I swear it to be true, even if it sounds like an old fart bathed in rosy memories and a golden glow, there used to be more generosity in the land.
If someone like Bob Brown had resigned - take Don Chipp as an example - there would have been a few noble compliments, some nice 'jolly goods' and 'fine fellow' and 'decent chap' 'did his best', 'played up and played the game', and 'hear hears' - and while there might have been some rumblings and a little dissent, it would have been muted, and things would have got back to normal quickly enough, and if Chipp had the mind to, he could have gone off bush-walking with his partner, and everybody would have said how lucky we are to have a diversity of opinions and views, and a country where you can still go bush-walking because Gunns hasn't yet woodchipped all the bush into oblivion, in the manner demanded and approved by Miranda the Devine ....
The bottom line? Well the pond isn't a greenie voter - not while there's a Happy Birthday party in the ring - but damned if the pond will buy all the hate speech and fear and loathing that routinely pours out from the Murdoch press with such a lack of generosity, with such rabid ferocity.
And always in unison. They talk about the thought police, and the need for diversity, but nowhere else can you hear or see such simple-minded unison. It's almost as if the full to overflowing intertubes needed to invent the term sheeple to embrace the phenomenon.
Could you find a similar outpouring of fear and loathing about Clive Palmer proposing that the Greens and the CIA are in a gigantic conspiracy to ruin Australia?
Good luck with that ... why after reading News Ltd opinion-makers, you might even conclude it was true ...
(Below: the Greens, as seen by Murdochians. Art work by Bob Brown - relax, it's the Bob Brown who worked for DC Comics in 1966, celebrated here).