(Above: quick children, hide under the bed. I know you might find reds, but if you don't the reds will nuke you. It's called catch 22. Don't blame me, blame the devious satantic commie bastards).
Here's David Penberthy exercising his usual restraint and careful way with words, while berating Tony Abbott for lacking restraint and care with words in his joust with the carrot top on the ABC's 7.30 Report, as he rushed to wrap up his scribble The curse of Kerry: now Tony has a 7.30 meltdown:
Commie users? Is this a twit's attempt to out twit the tweeters with an outrageously tweety twit?
And we're not just talking about a few commies. We're talking about "a lot". Not in the sense of an urban building space, but hordes of devious satantic commies.
WTF? The last time I looked, the number of genuine, certifiable "commies" in Australia were easily outnumbered by the donkey vote, and any certified "commie" candidate these days is lucky to get his or her deposit back.
Come to think of it, I haven't heard the term "commie bastard" for years, unless you're thinking of that vile American drink, the Commie Bastard, which involves throwing an ounce of Stolichnaya Red label vodak into a highball glass filled with ice cubes, and adding Mountain Dew Code Red soda.
I feel sick already.
Even that fond term for socialists - pinko pervert - has these days declined through lack of a suitable target (and it should be remembered that commies and pinkos were always the best at detecting the strains of heresy and giving each other a nice nickname. Splitters! Ice pick the Trotskyite!)
Labor party apparatchiks might still call each other comrade with fond nostalgia, but that's only so they can work out which part of the back is the best place to plant the knife.
Not surprisingly, a few of the punters reading Penbo - most likely the filthy pinko commie perverts - got agitated at the idea of abandoning all meaning and sense:
Commie users? Dave you sound like something off of Fox News. Are you angling to become Australia’s Glenn Beck or perhaps Sean Hannerty? You have in one sentence Dave shown why News Ltd is the least credible of all media outlets in this country. As for Abbott he once again has exibited his true colours ...
Never mind the spelling. We know you mean Sean Hannity, as worthy a clown to grace the American airwaves as Fox can find. Apart from the immortal Glenn Beck, an exalted loon who surely is inspired by his daily conversations with the Holy Ghost.
Why at the moment you can find the Hannity book club pushing Fred Thompson's touching personal memoir Teaching the Pig to Dance.
Presumably this is Fred's riff on the ancient Latin saying that teaching a camel to dance is a waste of time, translated into English as the futility of trying to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig. (and for camelum salstare doces, you can trip off to Latin via Proverbs, here).
But I digress. Back to the outraged punters:
... The counter argument to that is “Rudd was being smashed in the Murdoch media - not surprising, given it has a lot of fascist columnists”
Sweeping generalisations are never a smart move, particularly if you are being paid to comment...
Poor dear things. As if Penbo cares when all he's doing is trawling and trolling for comments in what is The Punch's best attempt at a conversation. Never mind the logic, feel the heat and the rage of anguished punters.
But then one comment brought me up short, made me realise that this was no laughing matter:
... Commie on Twitter? Only logical then that Pagans are on Myspace and swingers on Facebook...
Suddenly I was terrified at the thought of all the pagans on MySpace, and as for the swingers on Facebook ... to think that Chat Roulette isn't enough for them. I haven't been able to go to Facebook for ... all of an hour.
It got me to thinking. Where do the atheists lurk on the intertubes? And the Young Liberals? We know where truly dumb and desperate people lurk - scribbling for The Punch for free.
But if the commies are taking over Twitter, what else might they be taking over on the intertubes? 4Chan?
One thing's for sure - a little hoppy toad popped off the Penbo keyboard, and situated the lad sometime back in Brigadoon - is that another word for Adelaide - where the wars might even now rage between the commies and the goodies.
By which of course, we don't mean The Goodies, wonders of long lost television and persecutors of Rolf Harris, but people of upright morals, worthy of reading the scribbles of Chairman Rupert's lackeys.
Only in Murdoch-land.
(Below: an inspiring story of how to prepare for the cold war. Join a Murdoch rag, or become a rocket scientist. Click to get a better idea of the career guidance offered for free on the pond).
Ah, Murdoch land, where the cranks are paid to write, the trams run on time and it is always 1983.
ReplyDeleteNitpick...the kids are learning how to 'duck and cover' for when the Ruskies drop the bomb. Reading your blog is a thrice-daily compulsion for me...who the hell are you! I hope you're getting lots of hits.
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