Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A heartfelt message, with Xmas cards, from loon pond

This site naturally urges world peace, harmony, fellowship, and goodwill to all, and joins with the world's leaders in hoping for a better, happier, more wholesome and spiritually satisfying 2010. However the spirit moves you.

But we will of course settle for the squawking of the loons, much uproar on the pond, rampant consumerism, devoted materialism, heartfelt nimbyism, the stupidity of Senator Conroy, and plenty of STFU debates which provide much heat and light, and possibly might thereby help solve the vexed question of growing energy needs, vis a vis global warming. And bugger all else.

We haven't had any traditions established here, but we would like to show our solidarity with a few of the leaders who've made this year such a joy for the commentariat columnists, and who thus are able to contribute such a mighty and fierce squawking to the pond.

But first let's start with a pig led recovery:



Sigh, is there anything a pig can't do? Except perhaps for an oyster and a lobster. Get in before the acid seas wash away their shells.

Now for some fond memories of the good old days, and certainly not photoshopped in the deviant way of The Punch, and other Chairman Rupert rags. First of all socialism, which still explains everything wrong with world, right from the time that Senator Joseph McCarthy identified the problem:


Have you ever stopped to think how the red-garbed Santa was a socialist plot, giving away free presents and encouraging a dole bludger mentality in children?

And as any liberal secularist - short hand for fascist, or perhaps nazi, or certainly national socialist - knows, Adolf Hitler himself enjoyed a good Xmas lunch under a handsome Xmas tree (I swear on a leg of ham, the very last of the dollars to head into the Godwin's Law swear jar this year):


And who can forget how we started the year with a brave man leading the world into, and then leaving the world in, a financial mess and with a couple of left-over, unfinished, useless wars?


And then of course there's that Islamic family from Kenya currently camped like boatpeople in the white house:


Oh dear, did I forget to use the healing brush on the Obama card? Never mind, somehow comedy central seems to fit. After all, the commentariat columnists have been choking on their bile for an entire year, and it's been such fun to watch. (And thank you Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart for making the world a much happier place).

And now for the antiopdean team, who've made this year such fun for the commentariat.


Wait, isn't that Chairman Rudd's 2008 Xmas card effort? I'm sure he can come up with something better for this year.

And we couldn't find one from Nathan, but we thought his loaves and fishes moment really fitted the Xmas spirit. That and the fake grass:




Well done Nathan. We didn't bother to see if we'd got one from Kristina Keneally. Do puppets hand out Xmas cards?

And as for the lycra clad lout - as Miranda the Devine is so fond of calling Tony Abbott for his addiction to the bicycle - we thought the mystic orient added a nice exotic touch.


Oh yes, and see - Chairman Rudd did come up with a much better card for Xmas 2009. So much more inventive and inspiring. But are they paying the dog standard MEAA rates? I've never seen such solid acting, year after year. What next, Neighbours, Home and Away? The sky's the limit for a dog with no fleas and a cheesy, cheery grin:



And so we come to the end of the Xmas card list. So nice of the world's leaders to drop in to loon pond and keep the commentariat columnists squawking their hearts out.

We see over at Crikey that Andrew Dolt galloped in and took out the Deveny for Australia's kookiest public commentator by a country mile, with Miranda the Devine lagging badly, and Janet Albrechtsen barely in the race, while Robert Manne and Steve Keen could only garner a pitiful amount of votes. (The 2009 Crikey Arsehat Awards).

Well done Dolt, what a pity we rarely stop by, but do remember that First Dog on the Moon's calendar is essential, so you don't miss "Buy a purple ribbon for National Andrew Bolt is a Dickhead Day"on June 3rd 2010.

Ah, 2010, as the teens strike the new millenium, it'll surely end badly.

Still, next year the brave commentariat will all be at it again, all aiming to topple the Dolt, and we hope to be here following them, as they heroically tilt at sundry windmills of a reprehensible and most likely inner west latte sipping kind.

Here's hoping the venerable Piers Akerman will score a mention as an arsehat, and Gerard Henderson be given a gig in Hamlet, he's so adept at playing that prattling tedious coconut of a Polonius, and Tim Blair be honoured for being most like an arsehat head-bombing, snippety, magpie crossed with a right wing blogging bower bird with more references to intellectual property outside the Murdoch tent than even the best property thieves.

And surely a new category should be invented in arsehattery, so that The Punch can be properly celebrated for the most consistently tedious contributions to the national conversation.

All that and more in 2010, and no you can't skip straight to 2012 ...

1 comment:

  1. That last pic of the Rudds HAS to be photoshopped.
    There's this pale-faced Bert Newton impersonator to the right of Terese!

    ReplyDelete

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