Wednesday, May 24, 2017

In which the pond nods off thanks to nattering "Ned" ...



Still in urgent need of distraction, the pond looked to the reptiles for help, and lo, nattering "Ned" hovered into view ...

The alternative would have been to brood yet again about Wahhabism, that peculiar form of fundamentalist puritanism that Saudi Arabia has spent billions exporting to the world, and behind much of the thinking of barking mad terrorists ...

The blind spot in United States thinking on this is a bit like the assumption that it was only the fault of the Catholics or the Protestants that their civil war continued, with much violence, for centuries.

... He (Trump) blamed “terrorism” almost exclusively on Iran and, by implication, on the Shia minority in the region, while al-Qaeda notoriously developed in the Sunni heartlands and its beliefs and practises primarily stem from Wahhabism, the sectarian and regressive variant of Islam prevalent in Saudi Arabia. It flies in the face of all known facts to link the wave of terrorist atrocities since 9/11 on the Shia, who have most usually been its target. This toxic historical myth-making does not deter Trump. “From Lebanon to Iraq to Yemen, Iran funds, arms and trains terrorists, militias and other extremist groups that spread destruction and chaos across the region,” he told an assembly of 55 Sunni leaders in Riyadh on 21 May. (here).

It reached some sort of peak doofus when surrealist goose, Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross, noted that there were no protestors waving placards during the whole time the Trumpists were in country.

Ross would have enjoyed his time in Germany in the thirties, with nary a negative sign on view and for the very same reasons. Death by decapitation tends to put a damper on protesting .... ( and there's another dollar in the Godwin's Law swear jar).

But then Wilbur's a real live wire, with his ear to the ground and his eyes wide shut ...


Wahhabism is one of the least attractive - actually vile and loathsome - forms of religion active in the world, down there with all the rest of the puritanisms ... and there's the Americans swallowing it down whole, all for the price of an arms deal ... which will really quieten down that centuries-old civil war ...

Is it any wonder that the pond would seek refuge and Wilbur-like bliss by reverting to nattering "Ned"?

With all the rest of the demonisations going on, what can he do to remind us of the need to fear China?


Ah the fiendish, cunning Chinese. Fancy wanting to catch the Americans off-guard with their devious Marxist-Leninist machine imposing political authority ... while democratic United States gets into bed with the Wahhabists for a mess of arms-sales pottage ...

Now the thing the pond likes most when "Ned" goes on one of his "sky is falling down" routines is its simultaneous effect ... the endomorphins of alarm are quickly overwhelmed, and the desire to slumber wins out ...


In the end, it seems even Ned couldn't sustain the spectre of the all-devouring dragon ... and in fact by the very end, it seems the onion-muncher, Malware and nattering Ned are as one ... there are deals to be done, and orders to be followed, once the obligatory idle chatter about the Marxist-Leninist machine has been put to bed, perhaps somewhere alongside talk of Wahhabism ...


So that's it then ... done and dusted and all's well, and conservatives have once again done the right thing, and reason has triumphed. China is intent on world domination, and must be feared, but astute deal-makers can do the right deals and nothing needs to be feared ...

Boiled down to its essence, it's not so far from the gibberish of the deal-making Donald, intent on producing peace in the Middle East by Christmas ... by shipping $110 billion in arms to a region in the middle of an eternal theological civil war and any number of ongoing practical fights ...

Oh bliss oh poop, and so the pond can now return to its own favourite form of fear and loathing ...





In which the pond is saved from brooding by Freedom Boy and dreams of commemorative plate sets ...




The pond has already sent off for the commemorative plate collection ... bargains like this only come once in a lifetime ....

Yes, even Jimmy Kimmel, in between plugs for ABC's The Bachelorette has swung ABC to the dark, mocking side, and turned his monologues to the same turf as Myers and Colbert ...

This is just as well, given the news from Manchester ... but luckily there are also reliable local entertainers ready to lighten the pond's mood, which otherwise would have turned dark and brooding ...



A splash of Freedom Boy will always fix what ails ya ... it's up there with the Donald doing the curtsy ...


... or perhaps that plate with that tweet ...


Meanwhile, the pond was swept back to the dark days of being a homosexual in 1950s Australia, where Ming the Merciless, true to his British to the Bootstrap attitudes, showed not the slightest whiff of understanding genuine liberal attitudes ...

Heck, why head back to the 1950s? 

Not so long ago, when Polonius was prattling about the significance of Menzies and the forgotten people, this turned up in the comments section ...


The pond thought nothing of it at the time. It said everything the pond needed to know about the readership of prattling Polonious, and the lizard Oz, where bigotry, homophobia and delusionalism is rampant - but it added a piquant background to Freedom Boy's musings ...


Why that's as fine an example of a cat dancing on a hot tin roof, and of snatching Menzies from the maw of the onion muncher as the pond has seen since the Donald danced with swords...



Now while others might trot off to read H. G. Wells' mocking the Fabians at Project Gutenberg in The New Machiavelli here (Wells himself in his personal life offered many chances for mockery) - oh talk of long lost worlds and Beatrice and Sidney if you will - the pond will settle for a final quick dip in the world of Freedom Boy ...

By golly, is Chance the Gardener in the house? It seems he's needed to deal with a flapping hose ...


By golly, the pond hasn't come across this level of fine quality blather in many a long year ...


Well the pond has decided that perhaps getting that bonus plate will be the proper reward for sitting through Freedom Boy's ramblings ...



And if that doesn't work, there's always David Rowe, with more Rowe here ...





Tuesday, May 23, 2017

In which the pond seeks ways to leaven the Caterist Noh ennui ...


That meme is currently doing the Disney rounds, and it reminded the pond of the days when there were real pirate tales told to children ...

Good pirates? WTF? Remind the pond to pirate a Disney cartoon, and let there be pirates ...


The full yarn here thanks to the good folk at adelaide.edu.au, because this day is Caterist day, and there needs to be some kind of distraction from the ritualised encounter, which now has all the repetitious, slow-moving solemnity of a Noh play ...


Ah, there's some jackass reinforcement to hand today as well ...

But first to the Caterist ritual ...


There it is, right from the get go ...

You see, the pond doesn't donate to Get Up! There are those who do, and they can and they are welcome to do so ... there is freedom of choice and freedom of action ...

But the pond and anyone else who pays taxes of any kind in Australia perforce donate to the Caterists, thanks to the federal department of finance.

No choice regarding the greedy recipient, no freedom of action ...




This explains why the pond is so irritated by the Caterists.

Blathering on about Get Up! when really, they should hand back the cash in the paw to the Department of Finance and Get Out! and do their fund raising from suckers willing to donate to them ... like Get Up! does ...

It would save a lot of monstrous incoherence, deep, profound hypocrisy, and the Caterists relentlessly campaigning in the lizard Oz for Malware and the Liberal party would have a lot more honesty ...


Shocking. As the pond has learned this day, pulling punches on true values would mean the hapless Liberals on slender margins simply couldn't celebrate unfairness, gender prejudice and abuse, and promote the wonders of coal, while decrying climate science ... because after all, a new ice age is just around the corner, at least in Trump la la land ...


Edmund Burke would have been worried. Fancy a government funding the Caterists and the Menzies Research Centre ... and fancy the Caterists showing not a whit or jot of shame or guilt ...

But that's the way it goes with the morally bankrupt ...

And now because the Caterists are just a Noh play with a predictable slow-moving plot and an entirely predictable outcome, the pond felt the need to turn to a jackass for a little more comedy ...


Like the lizards of Oz, the reptiles at the WSJ have been turning themselves inside out to find willing useful fools, keen to celebrate the notion that the Donald might not be a total dud, fizza and lemon ...


A little context. Van Dyk was sprung a long time ago, back in 2009, by Barron Youngsmith in New Republic with 'Wall Street Journal' Finds the Perfect Democrat?...

Today's Wall Street Journal contains an op-ed by someone named Ted Van Dyk, a disillusioned Democrat that has fallen out of love with Barack Obama. "The first warning signals for me came with your acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention," Van Dyk writes. "In it, you stressed domestic initiatives that clearly were nonstarters in the already shrinking economy. ... Cut back both your proposals and expectations." 
Who the heck is this guy? 
According to his byline, he was Vice President Hubert Humphrey's assistant and "active in national Democratic politics for over 40 years." He claims to have campaigned for Kennedy, Humphrey, Tsongas, and George McGovern--but a Nexis search reveals that he has been posing as an "enraged Democrat" abandoned by Democrats since at least the Carter administration. Liberals should dissent, of course, but this guy is just ridiculous. Check out this assortment of his clippings.

Follow the link to check out those ancient clippings.

Google the name and you get a bunch of fresher clippings at the WSJ ...


Such is the comedy value of the complaining old fart that he's achieved the ultimate compliment, a fake Twitter account ...



This sort of sock puppet is invaluable for anyone totally bored by the Caterists.

Van Dyk is a natural fit for the WSJ, and therefore a perfect fit for the lizards of Oz, struggling to find fresh comedy stylings to match the rather dated offerings of the Caterists ... and always struggling to find anyone with a kind word about the Donald, getting trickier by the day given the Donald's "policy" proposals, while Flynn pleads the Fifth, in the style of the gangsters once deplored by the Donald ...

Knowing the old fart's natural tendencies and inclinations gives new meanings and resonances to his scribbles ...



Thus it ever was with the quislings and the appeasers and the sell-out merchants and the craven apologists turning up to do their duty for the Murdochians ...

And now, duty done, the Caterist god of tedium and ennui appeased, the pond can turn back to local laughs, as this ...


... now gives way to this ... with more Pope here ...



In which the pond celebrates Dame Slap celebrating illiberal values ...


The pond shed a tear this morning.

There, under the blessing of Ming and little Johnny, the onion muncher and Malware came together in peace and harmony. Which way, the sign asked, and the answer came, forward under the blessed Ming ...

And lo this day, Dame Slap felt so moved that she advanced from Wednesday to Tuesday to celebrate the holy occasion (though sad to say the image of unity quickly disappeared from the top of the digital page).



Indeed, indeed. The pond, inspired by assorted reptiles, has been running this of late, and can't get enough of it ...


There, that sets the mood for talk of Ming the Merciless and his noble values ...


Oh indeed, indeed ... a plague, a pox on false values ...






Sorry, the pond got quite distracted ... so many great values, celebrated by so many cartoonists, so little time ...


Indeed, indeed.

Please allow the pond to run a check on the debasing of language and the corrupting of culture and insidious false values...


Uh huh.

By the pond's humble count of the meaning of words, Dame Slap stands for:

The true god of unfairness.

The true god of insularity, singularity, monoculture, and associated phobias, bigotries and prejudices.

The true god of ABC bashing.

The true god of gender, sexuality, skin colour and religious intolerance, along with the many splendid phobias, prejudices and bigotries such intolerance can produce...

And while rejecting the false god of tolerance, let us celebrate the true god of intolerance, hatred, fear and loathing and foaming frenzies, never forgetting the pleasures of well-earned and diligent homophobia ... 

Anyone who disagrees with any of this is surely a bigot ...

By golly, these values are fun ...



What other values can Dame Slap remind us of?


Ah, the Middle East, home of some of Ming's greatest policy successes ...



Naughty university students ... how dare they exercise free speech when solemn platitudes and rigorous prejudices are what's required ...

The rest of that childish Suez poem here, and as we're speaking of poems, once again the pond must protest that idle use of Tennyson, for this is how that shocking poem begins ...


Idle kings, unequal laws, savage race? A bringer of new things and new ideas and new experiences?

Why that hardly sounds like Liberals lost in Australia, and the rest of the poem here ...

Surely the time has come to adopt the pond's favourite as the new Liberal party song ...


Ah yes, that's more like it. The legacy of Ming the Merciless and little Johnny ... talk about values to celebrate ...