Tuesday, January 24, 2017

In which the Caterists explain yet again that monetary compensation, or even perhaps Department of Finance grants only make matters worse ...


They say a meme a day keeps the doctor away, and this was about the only way that the pond could bear to be reminded of the way that the Gucci draining of the swamp worked ...


$3,600! 

Drain the Gucci!

Sublime echoes of Dame Slap having a go at Tom Ford (and never mind the terrible movie he's made) ...

And now, before the pond gets to the Caterist business of the day - such a chore, such drudgery - the pond must spend a little time on parochial matters ...

Apparently no one at ABC News reads the pond, and therefore missed its warning about the sublime stupidity of its live staging of news outside parliament house in Macquarie street ... 

The first one - featuring the going of the Baird - was a disaster - and then they did it again for the coming of the Gladys, who has made Sydney public transport what it is today (though it should be added, with much help from Bob Carr in the planning, but look, it's that a spiffing Olympics park ... why not catch that to work?)...


Of course they've now tidied it up for iView, but for what might have been only 20 or 30 seconds, but felt like an eternity of stupidity and folly exposed to the world...

It was a stunning example of dead air, with the hosts staring at the still live camera and making wrap-up gestures and signs, while a techie wandered into shot, tidying up cables and generally fixing things up ... and still they stood, waving, bemused, unable to be heard, but visibly silly at every anguished moment ...

It was an eternity of disbelief and embarrassment. It couldn't be called a tragedy - nobody died, there was no pain, only laughter - but it was truly beyond the valley of the pathetic ...

The pond has no idea what's going on inside Michelle Guthrie's ABC - well it's certainly not the pond's ABC - but all the visible signs are that it's a disaster zone ... 

Oh sure we could balance the books and ask why SBS exists at all - so they can show programs like the appalling, abysmal "Undressed" - two strangers undress each other? - you mean the pond no longer has to go into a porn booth to score the jollies? 

But SBS has been a basket case for years - John Howard and his board conspired to kill it off and succeeded admirably, and now all that's left are varying forms of Vice and Nazis  ...

Sad, but at one time the pond had a passing affection for the ABC. Now the game plan is all too clear. Turn it into a national disgrace, or a national comedy, and then let the whittling down to nothing begin ...

And so to the Caterist business of the day ...


Oh dear, it's another bout of black-bashing from a comfortably well off, government grant cash in the paw funded, self-satisfied, up himself to the point where the shining sun can no longer be seen, Caterist ...

Well let's see how the black bashing gets under way ...


Hold it, was that the black flag being mocked?

Isn't this the time of year that we usually get righteous sanctimonious messages about respecting the flag, whitey sub-branch?


There's more nonsense of the Maumill kind at Fairfax here,  but the pond hasn't a clue what he's banging on about, like an outside dunny door in a Tamworth gale sweeping over the north west slopes and plains...

Why, if it's okay for the black flag to be mocked, then the pond is right onside for another 'chuck another flag on the barbie' event ...


Well that one went viral, and the ABC, along with all the other click bait orientated media, went wild for it, with the ABC here and here ...

How easy it is for the pond to get distracted from a bit of black-bashing by the Caterists ... how unfair is that? Please allow the pond to return to the main game ...


Actually the pond is more moved to tears by a deep love for Caterist misery porn. 

This is the misery porn that arises when a well-heeled grant in the paw bludger off government mocks those who are less well off, and especially takes a set to uppity blacks who dare wander off the reservation where the Caterists deem it appropriate that they stay ...

So you want an air of self-gratification, and self-aggrandisement, and absolutely zero by way of self-reflection?

The whining, moaning, fretting, serially abusive Caterists are here to serve ...


Now of course there always comes a moment when the pond ritually reprints at least one of the Department of Finance notices in relation to the cash in the paw offered up to the Menzies Research Centre Limited ...

As soon as the Caterists mentioned monetary compensation and the way that throwing money at a problem generally makes it worse, the pond had no alternative ...

Otherwise the irony and hypocrisy overload which has sent the needle careening to 11 threatens to produce a red line explosion ...


But as a variation, the pond also thought it should head off to the MRC wiki so this could be recalled (Greg Hunters careful of southern walri can find the footnotes here):


There you go, difficult, pesky, tricky, uppity blacks, that's how it's done. 

You see, you take the cash in the paw from the taxpayer, and then by magical transmutation - a kind of transubstantiation if you will - you give the money back to the Liberal party ...

And so to the wrap up from the well fed, and inordinately self-satisfied, smug Caterist ...


Well it's a fair call that the Caterists know how to conduct unending vendettas with their patented formula for unending grievances ...

Week in, week out, it's whine and moan and whinge, while all the time pocketing the government dollar ...

So there's the Caterist tip for pesky, difficult, tricky, uppity blacks ...

Get your cash in the paw from the Department of Finance, and you too can send out sharp notes with a smug, self-serving, righteous tone, and the reptiles of Oz will think it's jolly good and a grand way to develop an admirable business model ...

Or you could just burn an Australian flag on invasion day, on the principle that's what's good enough for the Oz reptiles trashing the Aboriginal flag is good enough for the invader flag ...

And so to end where we began this day, with the help of Rowe and many more splendidly helpful Rowe cartoons here ... and there's a gallery of a hundred of his 2016 cartoons here...




Monday, January 23, 2017

In which the kool aid is strong in Dame Slap this day ...




The pond is long over the Donald, but for some curious, strange, perhaps mystical reason,  the sight of a delusional Dame Slap remains delectable...

It's a tribute to the power of really strong kool aid that the Dame could celebrate the arrival of billionaires, generals and Goldman Sachs as a reclaiming of Washington from the political elite ... when all that's happened is that one set of alligators has replaced another ...

Being close to the scene doesn't guarantee any special insights, or indeed, it being Dame Slap, anything noteworthy at all ... except perhaps for the use of the words "True Believers", which once used to be applied to people who looked to the light on the hill, or maintained a perverted, unhealthy interest in the St Kilda football club ...

Now the Dame has always been stark raving mad, besotted by tales of the UN using climate change to install a world government, but she seems to have cranked it up to eleven again ...

It seems that the Donald has become the subject of yet another grand passion ... or to use the style of mockery favoured by the Donald, a grand mal ...

'

Indeed, and luckily the pond had a photographer on the spot, who just happened to catch Dame Slap in the crowd, worshipping the pure Trump ...




Oh well, that's the obligatory Godwin's Law fine in the swear jar out of the way, but for some reason, there's something about the Dame that makes the fine seem like a modest and reasonable stipend ...

After all, there's a peculiar form of bitchery, essence of cat fight, in demeaning Hillary Clinton as the wife of Bill Clinton.

So much for conservative notions of the joys of the marital state as a foundational rock of civilisation ...



Simple messages for simpletons, and it goes without saying, Dame Slap. And then Goldman Sachs and the billionaires moved in. 

Luckily Dame Slap was too busy to notice ...

Even the real meaning of that jocular reference to a filthy rich businessman throwing expensive bits of clothing out the window passed over Dame Slap ...

Your average Tom Ford piece might go for five grand (not the humble sunglasses that might go for $300, or the mass produced stuff you might pick up for a cool thou or so).

Fuck the pond dead, if draining the swamp means being able to throw away designer clothes, what's the bet that the punters in Milltown USA or Coaltown Virginia are going to return to being rich as Croesus?

Five grand and you just chuck it out the window? 

And we're talking about reclaiming the swamp for the little people? The little people who can afford to throw a Tom Ford out the window?

While doing a quiet boycott? Because a noisy boycott would be too vulgar and might ruffle feathers in Toorak and Vaucluse?

What else to do than howl at the moon with laughter?

Well please allow the pond to spend up big on swear jar fines ...




Fifty cents. and worth every penny of it ... and now, just in case you think the pond might be exaggerating, we must now turn to the hysterical, baying crowd, and there's the Dame loving it, all the hate, and the fear, and the loathing and the chanting ...



Up yours Washington elites? 

Up yours billionaires, generals and Goldman Sachs alumni?

What if they like having it stuffed up them? I mean, they might need something to replace all those lost Tom Fords ...

Well here's the thing. Dame Slap is herself part of a Murdochian elite, a handsomely paid hack, given the chance to travel and file reports on the corporate dime ...

When the next revolution comes, Dame Slap might want to throw a few nervous looks over her shoulder.

Or she might just start to worry about a business model which is going to take a bit of a tumble if the Donald doesn't deliver the goods ...

Or she might just prefer to get high with the drug-addled ramblings of that drug fiend Rush "Oxycodone" "Hydrocodone" Dimblah ...

Well it's going to be a great four years for kool aid drinkers and cartoonists, but it's hard to figure out who else is going to benefit from the Taxi Driver Nation ... and more Pope here ...


And now as requested, a few Doonesbury cartoons, though for anyone who's interested, there's a book looking at his 30 years of coverage of the Donald ...

The trouble is, the Donald really liked Doonesbury. This was a favourite ...


It is in fact impossible to satirise the Donald. Everything redounds to the glory of his ego ...


Doonesbury and the Donald even made it into Snopes here ...


Nothing can deter the likes of Dame Slap from lining up to imbibe the kool aid.

There will, in due course, be a Jonestown massacre at least on a metaphorical level, down there with the slaughter of Tom Ford clothing in Toorak and Vaucluse  ...

The best we can hope is that not too many innocent bystanders get caught up in the slaughter as the delusional behaviour becomes apparent, and takes the world close to, or perhaps over, the precipice ...

Meanwhile, we have entered yet another new world, a world where there are alternative realities and alternative facts ...





Oh yes, it's going to be a great four years ... for loonacy and memes ...





In which the Major Mitchell returns, the bromancer keeps parroting, and memes rulez ...


This is the time of memes ... for example, the pond has been besieged by people anxious to make the pond aware of this Dr Seuss from 1941, which has been doing the rounds ...

The lamestream, wet, faux news mainstream media don't have a chance up against this instant form of circulation ...

And yet the pond is here to observe the reptiles writhing in the agony of their irrelevance and declining circulation figures and failing business models ...

Could there be a better example of this than the attempts of the reptiles of Oz to grapple with the Donald this morning...


Mass petulance? Well that approach makes the dog botherer sound like a scribbler of immense mass stupidity ...

Protests are anti-democratic? What a stupid ass hat ... though we all know the sort of well-ordered democracy the dog botherer seems to favour if that's his line ...


Sheesh, Godwin's Law broken already, and it's all the fault of the dog botherer ...

Actually the pond is well over the Donald, but with the reptiles determined to defend the Donald, and their flailing, failing business model, and thereby miss all the fun jokes and memes doing the rounds, what can a blog dedicated to reptile observation do?

Well first we can note the memes arising from the flat out lies and fatuities of the first Donald presser ...


Now you can find the nerd stuff at Wired here, and the Mashable piece was mashed here ... and there's the hashtag #spicerfacts, and so on and so forth, and much talk of Chemical Ali ...


Bless his long-forgotten socks, but while he might have been right about WMDs, could he match Spicer at counting jelly beans?


There was also much talk of the Spicer quandary. 

On your first day on the job, your boss tells you to go out and lie your socks off. Do you bravely tell him you won't and resign? Do you quibble and suggest excuses might be in order ... like the people who voted for you were too poor to travel to Washington, god bless them all? Or do you just shamelessly lie your socks off? 

Well the quisling lickspittle fellow travelling Spicer showed his true colours and proved that he had no ethical issues about starting off as a shameless liar telling porkies of the first water ... and yet all this flowed past the reptiles as if they were scribbling in a dream or a void or a mindless vacuum.

But enough of crowd sizes and who started the Donald's war with the CIA - after all in the age of the Donald the main argument is about the size of hands, penis and ties - because inevitably the pond must turn to the reptiles ... 

That lazy sluggard, the preening Major Mitchell is back after imagining that taking January off is the best way to emulate the ABC ...


The slack dullard is still banging on about the Trump dossier? 

The jokes for that one, all the wet mattress routines, have long been done and dusted, or moistened or whatever ...

It is of course just another chance for the Major Mitchell to have a go at the new media which sees the lizard Oz being given away for free - and nobody much wanting it even then ...


It is of course eerily unnerving to see the lamestream media eat its own, and look,  men, you can get a very large tie, if you report so that others can decide ...


If you missed the joke about the large tie, you can catch Colbert on YouTube here ...


And not one mention of Freud or phallic symbols ... 

But now it's back to the Major Mitchell ...


It goes without saying that the funniest jibber jabber of all has been coming from Greenwald and the like, carrying on about publication ... this in the age of Snowden and Assange and all the rest of it. 

Suddenly these gormless ones are getting all righteous about leaks and publication of material doing the rounds?

Well now that they're all card-carrying members of the Putin love-in club, and the Mahor Mitchell is in furious agreement with them and warning us about the military-industrial complex ...?

Does comedy get any better than this. 

Well in much the same way that people patiently explain to the pond that RT is a serious form of journalism, as opposed to a pathetic propaganda arm of the Russian government, anything is possible in the new world order and anything is believable ...


What's it all about? 

Does the Major Mitchell just want to show off the size of his lamestream mainstream media tie? Of course he does ...


Yes, there it was in black and white, and from a kissing cousin of the Fox News network. Credibility is everything ...

As if the shameless lies, distortions, phone tappings and ideological barracking of the Murdochians count for naught ... as if the Major Mitchell might scribble, and still keep a straight face, that credibility is everything while conducting a vendetta against Manning Clark of the most unashamed, unapologetic kind ...

Why, he needs his weekly Order of Lenin for that one ...


But wait, while the pond couldn't go the dog botherer, or repeat its RG routine, it felt the need to at least do the bromancer as a fine example of all that's wrong with the reptiles ...


Banana? Politician? He could mean only one thing ...


But enough of shifty dropkick losers of the Abbott kind ... we now need a new apologetics for the new world order ...


Oh fuck, the Pope? The Pope is the new excuse, and the new comparison point in the apologetics.

Wouldn't it be simpler to say he routinely lies, he's a born liar and so his his chief spokesman?

Why does the bromancer blather about platitudes and the Pope, like a gigantically enormous huge fuckwit, when the jokes are already there to be seen all around him?

Prosecuting a case and winning the argument, and Trump's brand is always the latter?

Well it didn't take long for gigantically huge fuckwits of the bromancer kind to jump the shark and nuke the fridge and clean out the cupboard of rationality and logic ...



Well the pond started on this road, and now must finish the journey ...


Deal with reality? At a time when both the Major Mitchell and the bromancer reveal themselves to be completely clueless?

Well at least at journey's end, after time in company with the clueless, there's always a Rowe cartoon, and more Rowe here ...