Saturday, October 21, 2017

In which the pond follows prattling Polonius down a conspiratorial rabbit hole ...



Of all the reptiles, the pond has the softest of spots for the battered, gnarled, sullen, curmudgeon-ish one that routinely surveys the ABC, Fairfax and suchlike for signs of deviancy or heresy ...

Almost anything can set him off in a rage, but anything to do with Gough is like a lighted taper to a stick of dynamite ... (well maybe a detonator would be better).

The pond was watching by accident a Drum the other night, and they were all having far too much fun, laughing, and joshing, and teasing each other ... it was like a session of jolly hockey-sticks.

By golly, a dose of prattling Polonius would have sorted them out quikstix ... even the bromancer, as he cheekily proclaimed that the lizard Oz had gone gutter tabloid with its attention-seeking 'losers is winners' screecher headline, and where was the post-ironic, post-modernist harm in that ... if you didn't mind looking like a loser gutter tabloid intent on getting the social media up in arms with shameless trolling even the Donald might have found a little over the top ...

Polonius can't bear any of that sort of nonsense ... he's more the pursed lip cop type always on patrol ... and always bringing out the larrikin types for a bit of a lurk and a laugh ...


And so to the Gough matter that so enraged poor hapless Polonius this week, with all the usual hereticals in his sights...


Now the pond doesn't much mind if Polonius wants to defend a drunken class traitor of the most tainted kind, and a pompous, dull, leaden member of the Western Districts squattocracy, a treacherous born to rule type who discovered a conscience in later life, and so enraged Polonius even more ...

If Polonius wants to blame the entire conspiracy on a bunch of low life reprehensible Liberal villains, who's the pond to argue? 

But it's the only decent conspiracy we've got, and while it's not up there with the Kennedy assassination or the Bay of Pigs or other cock-ups, muddles and classic conspiracies, it's something to be treasured, dug out of the ground every so often and gnawed at ...

When Polonius plays the officious cop and mutters 'move along, nothing to see here, no loitering, keep the line moving', he actually plays into the hands of the conspiracy theorists ...

If he hasn't got something to hide, why is he so insistent there's nothing to hide? If he's so obsessed with the conspiracy, surely there must be a juicy conspiracy lurking at the heart of it?

The result of this sort of slapstick silent comedy policing is all too apparent ...


You see, if the Poms and the Queen and the Yanks are entirely blameless, why then the despicable deed must be all the fault of Polonius's Liberal party and the head prefect ... and what a deplorable coup that was, what a shameless, vile and villainous act ...

Even if it was rewarded by the Australian public by their voting habits, and even if the Gough government was as dodgy as all get out and on its last Khemlani Jim Rex legs, still it was a despicable coup ... and now Polonius wants his mob to take sole credit for the vile and shameless deed?

Does he really want to give those bloody foreigners a clean bill of health in the matter?


By golly, he does, and yet, in doing so, he's wanting us to sheet all the blame home to a class traitor and derelict drunk, as if the drunk was incapable of warning the British government of what he might be up to ... how strange that he should have all his correspondence interred on the basis that the cur's papers were personal rather than the property of the commonwealth ...

There will be many who take a special interest in the prideful preening of Polonius ... as he disdains Hocking for only bringing some new material, nothing of momentous moment of the kind that Polonius himself routinely produces.

The sight of a reptile gazing at awe at the splendour of his fundament is one of the best reasons to keep a herpetarium ...in much the same way as seeing Polonius in full smoke-blowing rage is fun for the ages ...

The result of all this smoke is that the pond suddenly realised there might be a fire. 

It hadn't thought much about it in the past, and hadn't much minded if the CIA and the Queen had a hand in it. After all, they're regulars in most of the decent conspiracies doing the rounds ...

It's well known, for example, to Donald Trump's supporters that the British monarchy are part of the reptilian elite, and are in league with Jewish bankers to rule the world, and they ordered the assassination of Diana when she came too close to the truth ...

It's quite possible that giving a nod and a wink to a class traitor down under about seeing and hearing and doing nothing is perhaps small beer for this classy kind of conspirator ...

And so to the ongoing comedy of the moment ...






In which the pond heads off to Dame Slap's school for a history lesson or three ...


The lizards of Oz are the pond's shepherd; it shall not want.

They maketh the pond lie down in the green pastures of bigotry; they leadeth the pond into hysteria and nonsense.

They restoreth the pond's soul to the dark side, and they lead the pond into paths of jumped-up righteousness ...

Each weekend, the pond counts its bounteous blessings, but thought it should lead off with a fine example of western civilisation at work to explain why it selected the best loser* of them all (*post-ironic, post-modernist use of the concept licensed from the lizards of Oz) ...


Oh wait, the pond thought it was a call to arms, a typical war-mongering flourish from the Dame, when these days the pond is quite happy to join Hemingway in saying a farewell to arms ...

It was like saying good-by to a statue. After a while I went out and left the hospital and walked back to the hotel in the rain.

Oh wait, that seems to be an entirely wrong way to remember the first world war, far too down and negative an ending ...

The Dame is certain to produce fond memories of both the world wars, the holocaust, and sneaking out on the streets of New York dressed in a MAGA cap to celebrate the arrival of the Donald ...

Who wouldn't want to head off to Dame Slap's class for this sort of rabid nativist history lesson?



Now there will be some that will say that the pond risks being remembered as the generation that wasted a life reading the reptiles rabbiting on about history.

There will be others who will say that the pond might be better off indulging in a rant at the enormous stupidity of having a computer mark essays ... but that's already been done ... and besides, why not have a computer mark that illiterate oaf, Shakespeare, who never could work out how to spell his name ...

No, it must be the Dame. So be it, make it so ...




Wait, before we go any further, are we talking about the IPA?

A shadowy, furtive lobby group that routinely refuses to reveal its sources of funding and is completely lacking in transparency, but has over the years, done diligent work in the service of coffin nails and other killers of people, while remaining fixated on coal and celebrating climate denialism? 


Oh sure, it's Clive here,  but the points remain true ...

The IPA will always have its share of loons of the Bella d'Abrera kind with bees in their bonnet, and it seems it's beyond a MAGA cap wearer sneaking into the New York night to celebrate the arrival of the Donald to write a decent history of all the wretched things that the IPA has done ...including his most recent blather about the culture and history wars in a blindingly obvious nativist way ...

We’ve seen nationalism distorted into nativism – forgotten the dynamism that immigration has always brought to America. We see a fading confidence in the value of free markets and international trade – forgetting that conflict, instability, and poverty follow in the wake of protectionism.

Dear sweet long absent lord, who said that? Was it someone having a bad hair day? Never mind, the pond understands the rich irony of quoting George W., because it seems even war mongers must have their limits ...

As for Dame Slap, has she got anyone other than the contemptible, furtive, secretive IPA lobby group bunging on a nativist do in mind to further the argument?



Niall Ferguson? But he's a loon of the first water who sometimes features on this page ...

Now there have been any number of commentaries on the IPA's nonsense ... as per Sendziuk and Crotty here ...

Besides differences in findings, the IPA assumes that specialised “identity politics” courses that focus on questions of race, gender, class, ethnicity, and sexuality are intrinsically less valuable than the study of the European Renaissance or Medieval periods. In a nation that is currently debating gay marriage, apparently unable to resolve Aboriginal disadvantage or counter the appalling rates of domestic violence against women, and in which nearly half of the population have a parent born overseas, we would suggest that such questions are vital. It is little wonder that our students are interested in exploring these questions in different historical contexts, and that this interest might rival student enthusiasm for studying Renaissance art, the English Civil War or the French Revolution. They know, as we do, that one of the primary purposes of studying history is to inform the present, and to enable us to apply insights gleaned from the past to debates about issues that affect us here and now.

It reminded the pond of the time it studied history, with Australian history becoming the ultimate speciality ...

Apart from a few glancing references the pond learned nothing about important parts of Australian history.

The pond currently has Bill Bryson as toilet reading and was struck by this passage, which came after Bryson speculated on just how the continent's original settlers made it across waters requiring craft, navigation skills and social co-operation ...

"... all that is certain is that Australia's indigenous peoples are there because their distant ancestors crossed at least sixty miles of fairly formidable sea tens of thousands of years before anyone else on earth dreamed of such an endeavour, and did it in sufficient numbers to begin to start the colonization of a continent.
By any measure this is a staggeringly momentous accomplishment. And how much note does it get? Well, ask yourself when was the last time you read anything about it. When was the last time in any context concerning human dispersal and the rise of civilizations that you saw even a passing mention of the role of Aborigines? They are the planet's invisible people."

It's comical of course, coming from the myopia of Americans that sees no Australian soldiers in Vietnam in a documentary series that grandly announces itself with a portentous "The" as "The Vietnam War" ...

But speaking of blind spots, who else has the Dame got to offer?



Actually Burnard delivered a particularly cruel thrust:

History gets funded, along with English and Philosophy, at a lower rate than any other subject as a result of Australia’s peculiar policy of funding subjects at different levels depending on supposed cost of delivery and perceived social benefit. The government and student funding per university history student is $12,165. Funding for a student doing Politics is $16,591 and for Media $18,979 – much higher than for History even though how students are taught is similar. It was the federal government under John Howard that first introduced this funding system, ironically given his supposed enthusiasm for History as a subject. And Simon Birmingham has shown no sign of wanting to rectify what the Howard government did, in order to provide the resources to teach history effectively.

Oh no, not little Johnny ...

And Burnard delivers a particularly fine jab at d'Abrera ...

...distinguishing between “identity politics” and “western civilisation” is a false distinction. The IPA must be aware that even in subjects it praises - such as mine on early modern Britain - gender, class, power, religion and class are fundamental topics of study. Indeed d'Abrera is the author of a fine book in gender history, on Mary I, Tudor Queen of England.

Providing that link to the Amazon listing was a particularly fine touch, as the pitch talks of the need to rebalance the history long done in favour of Cranmer and his ilk. Go poor persecuted female Catholic Queen ...

And then poor Burnard, who has the exceptionally difficult task of interesting students in British history 1603-1815, starting after a lot of interesting bits and ending before Queen Vic and empire really got going, ends his piece this way ...

What are they interested in? Here is a clue. We have a professorial inaugural lecture this week by Mark Edele on The Russian Revolution. It will attract a crowd of 600. Several years back, we had public lectures by our two most distinguished alumna, professors in early modern European history at Cambridge and Oxford. About 50 people went to each lecture. Australians are not as interested in the history of western civilisation as the IPA thinks they are. The practice of history is not, of course, just about giving the public what they want. It is, however, a house of many rooms. The history of western civilisation is just one of those rooms.

Now the pond isn't quite as depressive as Burnard about the usefulness of British history.

It's an ongoing fascination to look at the Poms, deep in their desire to do a Brexit and never mind the Irish dilemma, clutching at the straw that somehow the empire can be revived, and Australia and other empire outposts will start sending the wool back to Britain rather than to China ... presumably so the Poms in the midlands can knit up nice doilies and ship them back to the colonies ...

That level of delusion is deeply touching, and it requires some understanding of the history of the Poms, to understand how they came to be so deluded ...

At the same time, the pond has to confess in a shamefaced way that after a lengthy study of history up to a post-graduate level, the pond knew sweet f all about the history of vast swathes of the planet. Sure, the pond could recite English matters like any child of the empire, but it took an extended tour of China before the pond had the first clue about the history of the country.

This came as some fair shock to the system ... and not just because the tour took in Xi'an's wonders ...

But the pond has almost lost track of Dame Slap completely. Her classes tend to encourage the mind to wander ...



There must be some sort of deeper ironic purpose in this ... the pond just having arrived at the episode of The Vietnam War where draftees are rushing off to Canada or landing in Vietnam to fight in a war no one much believed in, and with very few actually wanting to be in country ...

There's only been one further Australian sighting in the show, and that a mention of Sydney as an R and R destination, but that's the way it goes when in service for the Holy American Empire ...

All that effort by Ming the Merciless to tug the forelock and get in America's good graces, and now he's not even worth a footnote ... let alone the poor mugs that discovered that freedom was just another word for your marble coming up, and you could go to war, go to jail or go underground ...

The triumph of freedom and reason was the Vietnam war?

It's probably time to just get rid of the rest of the Dame in one big ugly gobbet ...



Oh sorry, the pond couldn't help interrupting.

You see, the pond grew up at a time when Australia was one of the most censored countries on the planet. James Joyce, D. H. Lawrence, you name them, there was a censor to ban them ...

So much for the liberal project and freedom ...

This wasn't the thinking that saw Enid Blyton's Dame Slap become Dame Snap, this was a country-wind infestation of wowsers and conservatives blathering on about the British empire and western civilisation, the sort of clap-trap nativism and bigotry that Dame Slap is now heir to ...

Don't take the pond's word for it, even the reptiles, cached here, looked at the matter ...

During the 20th century Australia was one of the strictest censors in the western world, often banning imported material that was considered suitable reading in England, Europe and America. The Commonwealth Customs Department, which had the authority to prohibit imports under the Customs Act 1901, would closely inspect overseas publications before they were released to the public. A reference library of banned material from the 1920s to the 1970s kept by the National Archives of Australia has been digitised by Google Arts and Culture as part of their online series 'Banned: The Secret History of Australian Censorship'. This impressive collection of over 15,000 books, magazines and comics reveals fascinating insight into the way social attitudes and morals have changed over time.

How easily we forget our history, though the pond suspects that Dame Slap never actually did much history ...

Okay, this had better be the final gobbet ...



Let's not mince words. This is an infinitely stupid woman who took to the New York streets at night in a MAGA cap to celebrate the arrival of the Donald, and now gets agitated about such people being labelled as Nazis, as if there's any other word for the sort of nativist fascist nonsense that strode the streets of Charlottesville ...

Let's not mince words. Anyone who's stupid enough to think that being female doesn't provide an identity should try changing from female to male, or back again ...

Let's not mince words. The IPA is a baleful, secretive, wantonly destructive lobby group, and the culture and history wars are just a nice distraction from the real business at hand ... in much the same way as the Donald fooled the gullible ...

But there's always a john, there's always a mark, an easy trick ready to fall for a shill, a plant, a stooge ... 

A diligent study of any country's history will reveal them ...Qin Shi Huang was one book banner and burner of note, said to have buried intellectuals alive just to keep the rest in line, or perhaps willing to work for Gina...

The pond had this sudden dream of Dame Slap taking to the streets of Xianyang in the night wearing a cap Make the Three Nations One Great China Again ...

Never mind, thanks to Rowe, we can celebrate the beginning of a new age in New Zealand, with losers grinners and winners and with more Rowe fush and chups here ... good old Barners, what a splendid Kiwi he makes ...





Friday, October 20, 2017

In which the pond TGIF's with a sizzling Sharri and a fizza ...



It's the custom of the pond for a TGIF luncheon to kick back the heels and enjoy some quality fun time with a Sharri sojourn, thanks be unto the Terrorists ...

Even starting on the Sharri hunt routinely produces fond memories of the bliss poop kind ... 


Oh look, sweet Akker Dakker in his Stalinist five year plan phase urging on the socialists to do what's right for coal ...

The pond loves a whiff of socialism and nationalisation and Corbynist thinking  at lunch time ... let the government invest in cola and the fat owl will pick up the bill, and still have enough left over for a snack at the tuck shop ...

And so to Sharri, as usual at her apocalyptic Friday best ...


Say it ain't so ... the pond could cope with Xi in a quest for world domination, and the Donald as a doofus, but Lisa Wilkinson switching television networks?

Why the stars of heaven have dimmed ... the pond heard the owl scream and the cricket cry, there's husbandry in heaven and their candles are all out ...

But with a singular act of will the pond avoided the clickbait and pressed on with Sharri ...


Ah, indeed, indeed, a splendid graphic, evoking the government's political agenda ...

Having ruined the NBN, there must be many more things for Malware to ruin or at least reduce to the third rate spineless jellyback sort of compromise he loves ...

Perhaps Sharri will explain the next bright shiny toy to be trashed ...


Oh sweet long absent lord, he's found a solution to climate change? That's the next NBN?

That's what the pond loves about Sharri ... she's a deep thinker, and the Terrorists love to show her in deep thought up against the government's deep thinking PM.

Why, the pond can feel its own little deep thinking montage coming on ...


Sorry, there's not much in that for the discerning elderly gentleman reader, but the pond must press on ...


What did he say?

Oh pick me, pick me, I know the answer miss.

He said, look, I'm a multi-millionaire living in Point Piper in a quite handsome harbour-side shack, and I find if you spend anywhere between 30 and 50 k you can end up with quite a nice solar array, and if you throw in a battery or two - I think they start around the 8k mark, but never mind, I didn't much notice the price being a multi-millionaire and all - you can iron out any wobbles in the supply ...

Please allow me to refer you to this story here, if you want a Malware role model ...


Indeed, indeed, just the way to establish an affinity with the battlers struggling to beat the impending summer heat ...

Explain to them how you're doing it tough, just like them, but there are solutions.

Lead by example, the pond says, and a handsome splashing of the cash.

Oh heck, the pond probably got all that badly wrong.

Malware probably didn't boast about his power bill in his home ...



Oh dear, the pond has no idea why Malware might be a bit leery ... after all, every other grand prediction has come to pass in splendid, wondrous ways, such as this one back in November 2013 ...

“If people want to see their household bills reduced by $550 on average, if they want to see power bills down by $200, gas bills down by $70, they’ll want to see the carbon tax gone and that’s why in the end I think that ‘Electricity Bill’ Shorten will roll over,” he (Abbott the onion muncher) said. (here).

It'd be a bit like promising great connectivity via copper and multinodal hyperdrive ...

Electricity Bill? Why Mr Harbourside Mansion is much cleverer, coming up with Blackout Bill ... when he really needs to be Lithium Battery Bill ...

Now can we have a snap of a very serious looking Josh to help wrap things up?



Well we've been there before, and we'll probably go there again, with or without battery storage, and the pond finds that the old nicknames are always worth keeping on hand, a bit like energy stored in a battery. You never know when something will come in handy ...



And so to a Rowe and a different sort of fizza ... with more fizzling Rowe here ...





In which the pond learns that winners are losers, except when losing is a kind of winning ...

It took the pond's breath away, so right was its shouty essence of bitter denialism ...


Losers take power?

NZ shock?

Yep, the reptiles were having their Hillary Democrat moment ... and they kept it up in the digital edition with exactly the same bizarre use of the English language...


The pond has to congratulate Ean Higgins and Primrose Riordan, not just for the notion that losers take power, but for the way in the very first line they slipped in "socialist-leaning."

Where were they when the Donald won? Yes, he won, and the reptiles never ran with USA shock: loser takes power thanks to weird electoral college ...

At least the Oz editorialist tried on a little history, with dire implicit threat of doom ...


Now the pond doesn't actually much mind or care what happens in New Zealand, though it loves the Kiwi accent to death and could spend endless hours talking of fush and chups ...

But naturally the pond turned to the bromancer to understand what happened, and why the reptiles were suffering such a bitter aftertaste from a vanilla poll ...



Naturally she won? 

But she lost. That's what the Oz said ...

How could this be? The front page of the lizard Oz had assured the pond that she was a loser, in much the same way that the Donald lost, and that black is white, except on the odd occasion when white is black ...


Hillary Clinton was a winner, but lost?

And now for the pronouncement of doom and gloom ... though the pond can't recall the reptiles getting so agitated about the Donald getting the gig ...


Julie Bishop is ludicrous?

The reptiles really know how to turn the pond's world upside down. Even an NZ election can turn into an epic mindfuck of alternative realities ... and speaking of which, naturally the bouffant one was on hand to deliver more confusion to the pond.

With the Donald already having struck it down, what's the first thing a reptile would reach for to pluck from the reach of the new socialist leaner? The cat? The family photographs? Some other treasured heirloom? Fush and chups? An improvement in your ludicrous manners?


Actually it's none of these things, because after much huffing and puffing, the best that the bouffant one  can do is reach for the TTP, such a thriving, surging, energy-charged  trade negotiation ...

In reality, even the trade pact is such a tedious irrelevance, such a storm in a Tasman sea teacup, that the bouffant one could only manage a few pars for his beat-up ...



And since the pond is congratulating winners this day, surely the bouffant one must score the Seinfeld award for the best column about nothing. 

It should fit nicely alongside the loser cup that the pond has awarded to winners Ean Higgins and Primrose Riordan. 


Yes losers can be winners, and winners, by definition, are always losers ... or so Pyrrhus of Epirus assures the pond ...

And now, since in truth talking about fush and chups is usually a short affair, there's just time to drop in on some real losers and dropkicks ...


It took a little time for the penny to drop and for the losers to realise that they were the winners of an ancient scheme ...



And so the reptiles maintain the rage and keep the usual dropkick coal-loving climate denialists close to their sooty bosom ...

Unless it's coal-fired business as usual, the luddites will never be happy ...


Let the pricing begin, and that way the winners are certain to be losers, unless losing is winning ... and carbon will be priced out of the marketplace ... though the pond hesitates to call it a price on carbon, even though carbon will end up being priced ...

Which brings the pond to the Pope of the day, with more infallible Popery here ...

The pond's first car was an FX and it's pleasing to see that the Pope has drawn the right grille ...and he's also evoked the mindset of the likes of Craig Kelly and George Christensen, stuck in the 1950s, while back in the actual 1950s they preferred to looked forward to the future ...

We could have done the same in the new millennium, and looked to electric cars and future ways of doing things ... instead, the winners wanted to be losers ...


Thursday, October 19, 2017

In which the pond continues bleeding obvious Thursday with the bromancer ...


The pond had many possible distractions for a bleeding obvious Thursday, not least the bleeding obvious way that the Bolter would drag Waleed Aly into the pay dispute - anything to needle the Islamic and get him agitated - and side with Julian Assange and Vlad the Impaler ...

If Hillary Clinton is damned by her links to sexual predators, what to make of the Donald or Steve Bannon in the locker room of life?

But it wasn't distilled essence of bleeding obvious, and the pond had to rule out other contenders for the same reason ...


Johnsie going the green fiends? Actually that was too bleeding obvious, and anyway, who'd spend time with an insincere, hollow untrustworthy loon who started in the Labor party and veered off like an Oscar Wilde rocket to the hard right, which threatens us all?

And there were the reptiles, getting very excited about Nick X, though it was bleedingly obvious they were doing a poll-driven beat-up ...



Is there nothing a silly poll can't achieve, apart from silly headlines left, right and centre?

Naturally the dog botherer had to pour cold water on all this ...


But in the end it was the bromancer that hit exactly the right bleeding obvious tone ...


The bromancer even had the cheek to dress it up as a rhetorical question:


You thought the bromancer was a cluelessly provocative twit? Right!

Now the pond immediately knew it had a bet going. The bromancer would spend endless time on China, but there wouldn't be one mention of Manus Island, Nauru, or Australia's treatment of its indigenous population, pace the record-breaking prison achievements of the NT government ...


Actually, notwithstanding the pond's indifference to lawyers, there's something to be said for the evolution of a legal system, and it's worth noting that China has moved some distance from the madness of Mao's cultural revolution, which took place around the same time as that great bastion of human rights and democracy decided to move over 500k military men into Vietnam and bomb the country either to corrupt democracy or the stone age, whichever came first. Oh yes, those were the great days for human rights ...

And speaking of human rights, it seems about the right time for the pond to raise some ancillary matters ...




Well yes, and more at the ABC here, but thanks to Nauru and Manus Island, and treatment of indigenous folk, Australia is eminently qualified to sit alongside the likes of Pakistan and the Congo ...



Indeed, indeed, and more and hot links here,  though it seems a pity not to celebrate Australia's role in liberating Iraq and helping generate the wondrous respect for human rights in the middle east, with Abu Ghraib symbolic of all little Johnny helped achieve ...

Of course all these epic achievements are in turn used by the Chinese Communists to justify their own wretched behaviour.

With all these great human rights achievements going down, the pond almost lost sight of the bromancer's final gobbet ...


The pond loves it when the bromancer talks dirty, or of eerie realisations of George Orwell's dystopian vision, while at the same time in another country ...



And what's this back in June 2013? Big Brother surveillance is our reality ...

Mass surveillance of a country's citizens by its government can no longer be said to be the preserve of authoritarian and dictatorial states. 
The publication last week by The Guardian of classified National Security Agency documents has exposed the extent of surveillance by the US government, throwing into question the security and privacy of the communications of people around the world. 
Not only does the US government have carte blanche access to data collected by phone companies about every single phone communication conducted on American soil, but it also has a direct line into records kept by internet companies such as Google, Microsoft and Twitter. In short, the US has the ability to spy on citizens of almost every country across the globe. 
Even living halfway around the world, seemingly out of the reach of the US government and its vast and intrusive intelligence program, it is safe to say that Australians have been the subject of US government surveillance. Their Gmail records and Facebook photos have been vulnerable to examination and investigation. Their phone calls have been tracked. And they have no means of recourse to prevent this activity from continuing.

Now there's a comfort, knowing the Donald has been fully briefed ...

But at least thanks to the bromancer we now know that China doesn't care too much about human rights, and there's another rich win for the bleeding obvious and deep irony ... and don't you worry about what Malware or the Donald might be doing ...

Meanwhile, there's an actual humanitarian crisis of astonishing proportions going on in Bangladesh, courtesy of a Myanmar government ostensibly led by a woman who won the Nobel Peace Prize ...it makes UN Warns of Looming Humanitarian Crisis on Manus Island look like small beer, but perhaps the bromancer might take some time out to look at the mote in our eye ...

And so for distraction and light relief a few bleeding obvious cartoons ...